There are two muffins sitting in an oven, one muffin says to the other; boy it's hot in here. the other other muffin doesn't reply because it's a muffin, muffins don't talk. Now consider that the first muffin was a squirrel, A TALKING SQUIRREL!

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In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

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How many Jews can you fit in a one-person car? --One in the drivers seat, 30 million in the ashtray

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Why did sally drop her ice cream? She got hit by an 18 wheeler Knock knock Whos there not sally

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Knock knock? Whose There? Not Suzie, She can't knock

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Whats worse than being rapped by a giant scorpion. Being gangbanged by a couple giant scorpions

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Knock knock Whos there Your Ma Your Ma who Your ma's in jail!!!

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Why couldn't the boy with no arms and no Legs swim? Because he was black.

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why did the clown cross the road? to kill everyone in the dark knight midnight premiere

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What do you call a dog with 2 legs? Doesn't matter, it's not going to come anyways.

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I've got a dig bick. You that read wrong. You also read the second sentence wrong.

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How do you get a ninja to do a backflip? Ask him nicely.

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whats a bike and rhymes with mike?

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Why was the phone wearing glasses? It lost its contacts!

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The declaration of Independence was singed in? Pen.

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Tyler Bishop is a waffle

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What did one cow say to the other cow? Nothing. Cows do not possess the ability to speak.

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andrew wagner

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why did tyler detweiler walk across the street? he didnt he has ceribral palsey

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A duck walks into a bar and orders 2 beers and a shot. The bartender says "That'll be four fifty." The duck says he doesn't have any money and asks if the bartender can put it on his bill. The bartender says "No." He then picked the duck up by the neck and raped him mercilessly. "That's what he gets" one patron said. "Yeah, he was asking for it"

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A man asks a young woman at a party if a rag smells like chloroform. She doesn't respond because she's passed out. He takes her to a nearby bedroom, rapes her, and leaves the party promptly. He'll probably victimize many other women with this method.

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A classic (apologies if it's been posted before): A woman was riding the bus home after a day of shopping. Suddenly she jumped up, shouting "may aspirins! My aspirins!" The driver replied: "You probably left them on the counter at the drugstore."

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so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

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knock knock whos there your mother open the door

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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