Did you just fall from heaven? If not I'm gonna beat the shit out of you

yo mammas so fat when she runs the world spins faster

Why was the redneck so racist? Because he had a severe dislike for the black community.

Your father must be an alien because he's driving a UFO

I had a quad when I was in high school, she was pretty but it was hard to get her out of the wheelchair.

How many licks does it take to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop? As many as it takes.

What do you call a black guy who gives out change? A cashier.

Doctor! I have no problems at all! So, uh why are you here? Isnt that freaking weird? Wow, that might be a problem! Puh! I have a problem then. Yeah, goodbye!

What do you get when you fall in love? A guy with a pin to burst your bubble.

Q: What do you call a blonde that just bought a new car? A: Carol

An American, a German, and a Mexican walk quickly into a room. They were late for a work meeting.

Two Eskimos are in a bath tub. One says pass the soap. The other says no soap; radio.

What do you call a cow that's not cooked? A cow

roses are red violet is blue why rik go to the hospital ? cause he eat glue.

Knock Knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo who? No I said Lou. Oh hey Lou come on in.

"Why did Suzie fall off the swing?" "She had no arms." "What did Suzie get for Christmas?" "Cancer." "What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a tub of dead babies?" "I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage." "What did Suzie get for Christmas from me?" "My tub of dead babies."

what do you call it when everyone becomes tolerant about gender identity. whatever pronoun it prefers.

your mother is so obese, that she really should look into eating a well balanced diet and taking part in an excercise plan that suits her

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was deaf, dumb, and blind.

How do you kill a jew? Same way you would anyone

life is like a box of chocolates... it doesnt last long for fat peopl

Doctor! Doctor! There is a fly in my soup! Moral: Huh?

knock, knock Who's there? A social worker, we are taking your children into costody because your wife has reported you to the police for molesting them.

A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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