Why did the Muslim cross the road? He was on fire and he needed to get to the lake on the other side of the street to put himself out.

How do you help someone stop drowning You take your foot off the back their head.

What did Cinderella wear at the ball? Clothes

How many men does it take to change a light bulb? None, there is nothing wrong with the light bulb.

Two scientists walk into a bar The first says “I’ll have some H2O.” The second says “I’ll have some H2O, too.” Both of them receive water because the bartender is not irresponsible enough to serve concentrated hydrogen peroxide as a drink.

Hey girl, do you have a mirror in your pocket? Because I dropped one and I can't find it.

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because having no sense of hearing or vision she is completely incapable of operating any sort of machinery.

what is orange and sounds like a parrot a carrot

When an anvil and a feather are dropped off a building the anvil will hit the ground first because it's heavy

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Get in the car.

Friends are like trees. They fall when hit multiple times with an axe.

The boy said to the priest, may God be with you. The priest responded with, "And also IN you".

why dont you ever run over a black guy thats on a bike? because you will be sewed and also probably have the shit kicked out of you

Why did the boy get diagnosed with Cancer? I don't remember I have Alzheimers.

1: Knock Knock. 2: Who's there? 1: To. 2: To Who? 1: To whom.

I have a very serious problem with my narcolepsy. I occasionalolahdf;honainbirgnipqgierngiaqbhgpqruiph

"HEY DUMB FU** THIS STUFF IS SUPPOSED TO BE FUNNY!!!" SAID SIMON COWELL!!!

Q: What did the Goth-Punk girl write on her test for the question "What are three kinds of rock?" A: Igneous, Sedimentary, & Metamorphic, She is a 4.0 Geology Major attending a respectable University. She simply chooses to express herself through the musical and clothing trends that emerged in 1970's English underground music. In reality it her personal preferences in the aforementioned areas have no bearing on her intellectual or academic standing.

it's easy to take part, just type your text below!

if chuck norris had 5 dollars and you had 10 dollars you would have 5 dollars more than Chuck Norris

Your momma's so old she might die soon.

Whats the difference between a Ferrari and a dead baby? I don't a Ferrari in my garage

DERP

Why cant Helen Keller driver? She's a woman

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...