how many dead guys does it take to screw in a light bulb? 6

thumb_up thumb_down +19

About numbers, it was 180 mg of valium... And I am going to live becausepeople got there in time, my heart never stopped because luck, the doc was only making a joke about me "having ingested enough valium to die at least twice". Sanders, I just got your girlfriend to agree to a threesome, if my banana ever wakes up again, AND WHEN... Thou areth forgiven, btw I sent him a picture of Line`s unshaved vagina, and a note stating: U recognize this? Find out more on horsehead network! Meh His name is Anders something Chattington, yeah for all that know him, guess whose finger is on her unshaven... Yeah, maybe you should not have messed with a guy that can have ANYONE. Ps: Then its your mother, then your sister which is 17 (and pretty 16 is legal here so fuck you Chatty!) and then I SHALL STRIKE THY WITH THE VENGEANCE OF A THOUSAND SUNS! Because you are forgiven, which I cant even remember what means, I mean I know I am typing my experiences here, but thats only because I remember by muscle memory where the buttons are, said the doctor... I can still play Snes emulators... Not, because my numb fingers cant click anything and Line is gone. I TOUCHED HER ALREADY YA KNO! YOU SAW THE PIC, My skin is tan, and... well you know she is here... The best part? She is totally okay with you knowing, sayonara pal, id watch the "fluor" in your mothers pussy the next time you eat it!

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Obama says: I can throw one 1,000 dollar bill out the window and make one person really happy Michelle says: I can throw ten 100 dollar bills out the window and make ten people really happy The Co-Pilot says: I can throw you both out the window and make 250,000,000 people really happy tee-hee

thumb_up thumb_down +19

An asian, mexican, and a black guy walk into a bar, and the bartender says, "get the hell out"

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did the Grandad teabag his Grandson? Because he likes dipping his balls into the mouths of his Grandchildren; as if they were a teabag and his mouth was a mug.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did the plane crash? Because, it's pilot was a bagel.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What do you get if you cross a horse with a cow? A horse and a cow.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What's the safest way to tell a racist joke? Ask everybody who might hear the joke if they would be offended by a racist joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

ok everybody to make this more simple we all have to line up alphabetically by height.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Want to hear a funny joke? Not really.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

no really what are ur names?

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A man comes home from work and finds his wife in bed with his next-door neighbor. Furious, he shouts 'What's the meaning of this?!' And his wife answers 'A pronoun used to identify a specific person or thing close at hand or being indicated or experienced'.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

so a man walks into a bar *pint of bud there please

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What do you call a cat with 1 eye, 4 legs, and its tongue out? Road kill.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

your mother is so fat that she probably watches her calorie intake every day

thumb_up thumb_down +19

How are leprechauns and lions similar? The both start with L.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What begins with "B" and ends with "N" that you never want to call your neighbor? a Black Person

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why are you on anti joke? Because your not funny enough to make your own jokes

thumb_up thumb_down +19

LO LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOPLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOO O O O O O O OLO LOL OL O LO LO LO L OL -LOL GUY

thumb_up thumb_down +19

An Asian walks into a bar. He has a few drinks, but makes sure not to have to many. He then drives home safely, and enjoys a good nights rest.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What's worse than stepping on legos? Massive genocide

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Whats the worst thing about dying? Your not alive anymore.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

52 Prostitutes in a bar. Challenge Accepted.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

yo mamma so fat that when she goes out in high heels she comes back in flip flops

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops