How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken. How do you get a baby to run faster? Chase it with the lawn mower. What do you get when you cut a baby with a straight razor? An erection. What do you get when you put a dead baby in a blender? Hold on. I'll tell you in a second. What's pink and spits? A baby in a frying pan. -S

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How Many polish people does it take to screw in a light bulb? One, one person is capable of screwing in a light bulb. Unless they were mentally challenged, in which case, they would get someone else to do it for them.

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A 14 year girl enjoys exploring the sexual regions of her body, whilst having one of her intimate sessions her brother walks into her room. Her brother was a rather sexual 17 year old, who has had sex with several different girls, and is not afraid to try new things. the brother says " get a room to his sister... oh wait" and walks out

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A guy takes out his club and hits a baby seal with a fine for $50 for littering and threatens to smash the seal's favorite ceramic figurine with the club if he doesn't pay the fine. The man is a park ranger and takes littering very seriously.

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Josh is sooo great at blowing, xoxo Dylan Hodge.

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WHY DO IDIOTS RIGHT STUPID JOKES BECAUSE THEY HAVE NOTHING BETTER TO DO WITH THERE LIVES.

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In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

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Name an American born white man in the NBA. Thats right, you cant

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If a man and a woman get married in Texas and move to Washington are they still brother and sister?

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One day a young gentleman was walking down the street. He sees a wounded dog laying there on the sidewalk. He goes to tend to the wounded animal. It bites his hand. He rushes to the hospital and tests positive for rabies. The man has to be vaccinated and the dog terminated.

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What did King Tut say when he got scared? How would I know? It was over a thousand years ago.

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You read this in school as a crowd of kids stand behind you laughing at your screen

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What do babies suck on? juice boxes!

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What do Miley and Bill Ray Cyrus have in common? Half their DNA

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Roses are red violets are blue or at least that's what they tell me because I am blind

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Lad: Whats that smell Girl: Nothing Lad: That is right nothing now get into the kitchen!

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Q: Why did Sally fall off the swing? A: How the heck would I know? I don't Sally.

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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Whats worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings. Whats worse then two bee stings? The holocaust. Whats worse then the holocaust? Three bee stings.

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"So, what do you fancy doing tonight?" "Does it matter? We'll end up doing what you want anyway..."

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A whore walks in to a bar. She soon finds her John and they leave to his hotel room.

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Q: how do you fit 100 jews in a car A: 3 in the back one in the passenger seat and 96 in the ash tray

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what has hair? Organisms, or at least most do.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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