What do you do when a black person steals your computer Inform the authorities, as theft is a felony.

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anti-joke.com

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Q- what's the difference between a trampoline and a baby? A- you take of your shoes to jump on a trampoline

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i punched my mother in the face once she cried

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What do you call a man with no legs and no arms on your doorstep? Matt

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toby limbers is gonna follow in his uncles footsteps, the gay ones

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Did you hear about the three Arabs that hijacked a plane? They drove it into the Pentagon.

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Why was the Jewish boy afraid of an oven? The last oven malfunctioned and killed his father.

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Why was 7 afraid of 6? It saw what 6 and 9 do when they're together.

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Sometimes I fantasize about having sexual relations with Oprah Winfrey. Sometimes I don't.

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what did johnny's dad say to him after his baseball game? nothing because johnny's dad was an abusive alcoholic who beat him until the neighbors found out and called the police. the dad was arrested, tried in court then promptly thrown in jail were he was raped in the showers repeatedly by a very large and intimidating black man. he vomited suicide in his cell today by drinking drain cleaner

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roses are red leather is black when god made you he was smoking crack

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What did hitler said to the chinese? Thank you for continuing my legacy.

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roses are black, violets are black, im dead.

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Knock Knock "Who's there?" "This is Frank from Walside Windows just wondering if you wou..." (Door Slams Shut) "Damn those people are annoying"..

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Q. How do you make your neighbor mad? A. Run his kids over.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he needed to go home.

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A: Where does a cow go on the weekends? B: To the mooooovies? A: No, to the slaughterhouse.

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Barney is a pedophile Loves dino molestation Stuck a dildo in his ass And died of constipation

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Little Jimmy had walked in on his parents. "Mummy what are you doing with dad?" "Baking a cake" She replied. Two hours later the cake had then cooled and was consumed by all.

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What's blue and thrashes about on the floor? A baby playing in a plastic bag. How do you make a man pregnant? Stick a dead baby up his ass! How do you stop a baby falling down a manhole? Stick a javelin through it's head. How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends how hard you throw them. -S

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the farmer that was trying to kill it.

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A man with a barbie doll walks into a bar. He goes up to the bartender and says "I bet you $100 that I can turn this barbie doll into a beautiful lady". The bartender laughs and says "Okay." The man takes out a brush and begins brushing the doll's hair. Seconds later the man has a seizure and falls to floor a dies. It turns out he was a drug addict and had a fatal over dose. The bartender never got his $100.

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What do you call a gynochologist named John? John

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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