What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers.

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What did the apple say to the orange? Nothing, fruit can't talk.

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Why was Jimmy upset? He wasn't.

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My friend just phoned me from the Boston marathon. He was being taken to the hospital due to being injured by the explosions and had to have his leg amputated.

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Q:What's red and crawls up your leg? A: A homesick abortion

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How many nipples are on a raccoon ? I don't raccoono

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A farmer hears a knock at the door on a rainy night. He opens the door and welcomes an attractive young man in. The farmer gets his budding teenage daughter to fetch the man a towel. He dries himself off, thanks them both, and goes to bed. He's gone before anyone else wakes up and leaves a fifty on the table.

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P1: why did the chicken cross the road? P2: to get to the other side. P1: Knock! Knock! P2: whos there? P1: THE CHICKEN!

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Roses are red violets are blue faces like yours belong in a zoo don't be mad I'll be there too not in a cage but laughing at you

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How do you break your fan in the summer You dont its hot and you need it

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WNBA

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Whats worse than not having fun at a party? Getting so drunk at a party that you shat in your pants Whats worse than shatting in your pants at a party drunk? Shatting in you pants twice because you were so drunk again.

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What do you call a black person born in America? American.

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Why did John fall off his bike? Because, he is a fish and fish cannot ride bikes.

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what did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? a nintendo wii.

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A blonde, a brunette and a redhead dive off a motorboat. They are sucked into the propeller and brutally disfigured instantly.

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Chuck Norris can carry very heavy objects.

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roses are red you are dumb no one will care when you die

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What is the difference between a dead baby and a mustang? I dont have a mustang in my garage.

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What do Robbers Get for Christmas? Other peoples things.

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Whats the opposite of red? Fish!

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Why was the girl running out of the school? Because her principal was trying to rape her.

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What's small, white, and it killed Bruce Lee? Aspirin.

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A Women is holding a piece of paper with her rights what is she holding a grocery list

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops