What do you call a group that has a microphone, a bass, two guitars and a drum kit? A Band

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What do you call an Arab flying a plane? A terrorist. What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot. What are you racist or something?

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What does a penguin and a watermelon have in common? They all come from Earth.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why was little David sad? His father got hit by a truck.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

why did bob fall off the swing Because he got hit by a microwave

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why did the the chicken cross the road? So he wouldn't be late for his annual check up at the clinic across the street.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A guy walks into a bar, has a few drinks with his mates and gets highly intoxicated.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

why can't Michael Jackson bake a pie???? Because he's dead

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why did the black guy stop his car? There was a stop sign

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Know whats worse than a worm in your apple? Getting fridges thrown at you.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A manly man drives up in a yellow bug, What do the girls think? They think its very manly! (;

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you touch yourself.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What does the man do to his meat? He beats it.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What's better than winning gold in the special olympics? Not being retarded.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Hey, I just met you, And this is crazy, But here's my number, So call me anytime you're free, but I can't guarantee I will answer because I could be at work.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Your Mother is so ugly that men tend to avoid her.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Wanna hear a clean joke? I took a bath with bubbles. Wanna hear a dirty joke? Bubbles is the girl next door.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a baby in your closet.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did the Gay person fall down? He got shot.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Here's a joke The Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

How many lemurs does it take to paint a wall It depends on how hard you throw them Why did Jane fall off the swing She has no arms Why did Jack drop his ice cream cone He got hit by a bus Did you know that if you pretend to eat salt you can actualy taste it Do this in public. Why was 6 afraid of 7 Numbers can't think This is the original anti joke A man walked into a bar he is an alcoholic and is distroying his family. Fin a penny pick it up and all the day you will have good luck Until you get hit with a car door. A man is SCUBA diving when he is almost out of air so he takes one breath an holds it to the surface The trip is so long that his lungs explode do to a change in pressure so he died.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Knock Knock. Who's there? William. William who? You friend...William...you invited me over.. Can I come in?

thumb_up thumb_down +25

"Lassie, Lassie, come quick! Timmy is in the well!" "I'm a dog," replies Lassie. "You folks have ropes, ladders, and opposable thumbs. What the hell could I possibly do to help?" With that final act of disobedience, Lassie was turned into fertilizer.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops