A man walks into a bar and orders 12 shots. "8?" Asks the bartender, to verify he had heard correctly. He feels unsure of giving the man 12 shots but does so anyways due to his financial situation and he hopes for a generous tip. Afterwards, the man kills 9 people in a car crash due to his level of intoxication and the bartender seeps into depression due to his feeling of guilt.

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What sucks more than being married? Being shot in both kneecaps

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You know the drill, the world is not as black and white as it was before, just because we are not on the same side, does not make us enemies either. As for whatever is going on, I can assure you I had nothing to do with the fall of the first underground, and neither will I make sure whatever you scraped together, large or small falls either, I realize I should have thought this trough some more, but we had little time to act on this one.

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What’s spotty, has three legs and is green all over? …well?

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You read this in school as the kid sitting next to you stares at his computer screen.

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The next sentence is true. The last sentence was a lie.

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Why do beavers have flat tails? They don't know but their relatives certainly get upset

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Ding-Dong.............no knock-knocking required

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What do you call an iphone in a puddle? Broken

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Im cute hehehee

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What is the pirate's favorite letter? Z.

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Q: What do you call a dog with no legs? A: It doesn't matter what you call him, he isn't going to come.

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What happened while Thomas crossed the street? He got hit by a truck. What happened to Billy? He was Thomas's Siamese twin, and he too met the same fate.

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers.

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there's a worm in my lime at least it doesn't have scurvy

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Wanna hear a joke? (Yeah, sure) So do I, got any?

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who is awesome? no one...

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What did the Buddhist monk say to the hot dog vendor? Monks do not speak.

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once, my brother took my lard and gave it to the less fortunet

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What's fun and challenging? Writing an anti-joke.

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A van drives into a car.

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*Knock, Knock* Who's there? George. George who? George Ronald.

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Please don't shoot me

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what is the worst thing a priest could do to a little boy? brutally murder him

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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