Q: How many babies does it take to paint a house? A: That depends how hard you throw them... Q: Whats worse than 10 babies nailed to 1 tree? A: 1 baby nailed to 10 trees...

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A women gets a call saying her only daughter is trapped inside a burning building. She runs as fast as she can too her car before she realizes... women can't drive due to their role in society, so she returned to the kitchen and continued to make her master's sandwhich.

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A man walks into a bar. He leaves a large rucksack by the pool table and walks out. The rucksack then explodes and kills 13 people because it is the height of the Troubles and the man is a member of the IRA, who targetted the bar because it is regularly visited by British servicemen. The media extensively cover the story, and the two sides of the conflict in Northern Ireland decide that the bloodshed must stop, which eventually made way to the Good Friday agreement of 1998.

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An old white lady falls on the ground in the middle of the night. Just then, two positively huge black men in hoodies walk up to her and she is frightened. But as it turned out, they just wanted to help her get on her feet, and called a taxi for her. When she had no money, they gladly paid her fare. This is because they're good people and not muggers

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a Ferrari? A Ferrari was never alive.

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What would you find if you shaved chuck norris's beard? A chin.

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Knock knock. This is a no soliciting residence, and I do not open my door for strangers.

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Why did everyone want to hang out with the mushroom? They didn't. In fact the mushroom's social anxiety had developed to the stage that he had frequent contemplations of self-harm and is in serious need of extensive therapy.

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Knock knock It's open, come in

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What's black and white and red all over? Nothing, because if it's black and white, it can't be red.

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yo mama is so fat that a kid said to her ' The White Buddha Has Returned'

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Why was the black man kicked out of the restaurant? Blatant racism was still very prevalent at that time and place.

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What's a pirate's favorite video game? Pirates lived in a time before such technology existed

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, you racist.

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why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7-8-9

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what did the kid with no hair get for christmas? cancer.

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When will pigs fly? When they grow horns

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Whats similar between an apple and a black guy there is no similarities between them

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What's worse than finding gum on your shoe? Being molested by a sea urchin.

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Why did the wheel fall of the car?? Cause you can't fit 10 pancakes inside of a doghouse.

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Why did the kid jump? He didn't.

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So I'm blowing this guy and he starts rubbing his finger through my hair... So I started thinking, what a fag.

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why did the car go to the bathroom? it had gas.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, there is no reason for a chicken to need to cross a road.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops