As far as I know, the day after tomorrow is going to be YOUR lucky day, because you will be tasting sausage for the first time with your lower lips... No seriously, you cant be virgin, you can tell me the truth, you like 24 or something?

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Yo momma is so ugly, that your father can no longer stand her. They are getting divorced.

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A man comes home after a long days work. It is late at night and he gets in bed with his wife who is already asleep. Later that night he gets up for a glass of water and returns to the bed room to see that his wife doesn't appear to be breathing and calls 911. He then realizes that this isn't his house and he leaves.

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What do friends and trees have in common? They will both fall over after being hit multiple times with an ax.

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Whats the difference between a quarter and a penny? 24 cents.

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Two pies where sitting in a oven when one of the pies says: God damn it's hot in here. The other pie screams out loud: HOLY SHIT A TALKING PIE!

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Two cows in a field one says Moo the other says, Moo

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A blind man walks into a bar. He cannot read the drink menu.

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Q: Why are Cats called Lolcat? A: They forgot to put "i" between l & c

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A black man walks into a house and is shot because it is not his house and it is 2 in the morning.

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knok knok whos there know one cares your gay

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Q: What did the Catholic man say in response to the gay man asking what he likes to do? A: golf

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Roses are red Violets are blue and oranges are orange nothing rhymes with orange

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What did the ginger say to the blond? Hello, what is your name?

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When birds fly south for the winter they fly in a V formation. one side is always longer than the other. why is that? Because there are more birds on that side

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Why do Asian Women have small boobs? Because anything under A is unacceptable.

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sally has no arms knock knock who's there not sally

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Very, very hungry.

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Where did the banana go? -Nowhere, a banana can't walk.,

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A man walks into a bar. Oh, wait, no. It was a horse. So... A man walks into a horse

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What did the hedgehog say to the beaver? Nothing, they can't talk.

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A black man and a mexican man are in a car. Who is driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken a month off from working in their law firm. The mexican man, Alex, had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. Rain had suddenly come upon them and a passing off-duty police officer had picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel. The three men had drinks and the friends had a wonderful rest of their trip. Alex, however never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months after their return John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the water? A: Shark bait.

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What do you call a midget driving a train? A conductor

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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