Why do most married men die before their wives? Men have on average a shorter life expectancy than women.

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So its 1945, and these two blonds walk into a bar....I forget the rest of the joke, but Japan ends up getting nuked.

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Libraries.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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Why did the road cross the chicken? Because Einstein said so. According to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

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What did Elvis say when he lost his voice? Nothing.

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Why did the milkman wear a white belt? To keep his pants up.

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What do you call a dead blond in a closet? A homicide victim.

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A jew goes to a bar,then wakes up with presents under his candels.

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A man who is down on his luck was told that when one door closes a window opens. So he jumped out.

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How do you piss off a lion? You repeatedly poke it with a stick.

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What word rhymes with orange? -Adult onset diabetes

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SOCIOPATH SAYS: Bitch, rate all my comments thumbs up, if you do I wont rape you... YOu know unless I feel like, women kinda like it when men are in touch with their feelings... SO yeah... Im gonne touch your feelings ;) Nah, nope, no homo, you a gal? We can meet! Voluntary rape! (No I did not say voluntary sex, rape, you can say the saferword: OMG SO GOOD HARDER HARDER! If I you know... Am about to kill you... Which I will do if we get to that stage anyways... Relax ill recycle you. Moral: NeroMetal Think Recycling! Save our planet! ITS LIKE RAPING AND KILLING A PERSON!

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was black.

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A horse walked into a bar, broke its leg and its owner then had to put it down because it was a racing horse and the owner did not have enough money to bring the horse back to health. Fuck you.

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A nuclear reactor explodes and all the waste are going straight out in the ocean. Look at my new shoes.

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I went to see a fight and all of a sudden a hockey game broke out.

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Your mama is so poor that she is on welfare, but she is ashamed to tell you and cries herself to sleep every night.

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What's the difference between a duck? One of its legs are both the same.

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Q: Why'd the chicken cross the road? A: to get to the other side

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Q: What do African Americans and Doorknobs have in common? A: Before the Emancipation Proclamation was passed, neither was free. Doorknobs still aren't free.

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A guy walks into a bar, orders a beer, pays, and leaves.

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Why does an Irish cop wear a belt? To hold up his pants.

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What do stuffed animals and living animals have in common? There both living except the stuffed animal.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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