A priest, a rabbi and a shaman walk into a bar. Except there is no rabbi and there is no shaman and the bar is actually my 8th birthday party priest is molesting me. And the priest is my dad. My dad molested me. A lot...

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Why did the boy cry? Because he was mercilessly beaten by his mother.

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Your mother is such a whore that she has consensual sex with a lot of people...

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Why do most married men die before their wives? Men have on average a shorter life expectancy than women.

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What do you call a fat jew? A person that most likely has an eating problem and needs to seek help from the nearest rabbi

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Libraries.

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Why didn't Bill go to the party? He wasn't invited.

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Why did the road cross the chicken? Because Einstein said so. According to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

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What did Elvis say when he lost his voice? Nothing.

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whats worse than losing your pet rock? having your dog run over buy a car.

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What's green, red, and goes fifty miles an hour? A frog in a blender.

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what did the little girl find when she opened the freezer in her basement? food.

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A couple arrived at Hospital in less than 3 hours. but actually they wanted to go to the Church...and 3 hours is quite a long time...

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Why did the police stopped the black driver? Because one of his car's lights was busted.

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How do you piss off a lion? You repeatedly poke it with a stick.

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What word rhymes with orange? -Adult onset diabetes

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The red guy lives in the red house, the green guy lives in the green house, and the blue guy lives in the blue house. Who lives in the white house? The purple guy, he just hasn't painted his house yet.

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Noses are red, pilots are blue I am dyxslexic boo who

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was black.

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A horse walks into a bar and then out of the bar

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What's the difference between a duck? One of its legs are both the same.

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Q: What do African Americans and Doorknobs have in common? A: Before the Emancipation Proclamation was passed, neither was free. Doorknobs still aren't free.

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Q: Why'd the chicken cross the road? A: to get to the other side

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Why was Jane absent from school today? Because she got mugged on her way there, and soon after was hit by a passing bus.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops