Q: What's worse than school? A:Your mum dying

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Two muffins are sitting in the oven. One says wow its hot in here the other muffin said HOLY SHIT ITS A TALKING MUFFIN

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Why doesn't Harry have any arms? Because he's a Jew.

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Why couldn't the color blind orphan find his apple? Because he was also blind.

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How hot was the blonde considering she was in Africa for the first time and it was 103 degrees, very

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Q: What do you get when you cross a cactus and a platypus? A: I was wondering the same thing.

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What's the difference between your mother and a mallard with a cold? One's a sick duck; the other regrets having you as a child.

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Why did the young boy drop his bus. He was hit by an ice cream.

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How many black men does it take to change a light bulb? TO GET TO THE OTHER SIDE!

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What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Neil Armstrong? Neil Armstrong was the first man to WALK on the MOON. And Michael Jackson was a child molester.

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Why did suzy get in the car? She wanted to go somewhere.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? We will never know. Chickens are incapable of communicating with humans and thus the intent of the chicken is subject to speculation.

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I just met you, And this is crazy. So call me Kony, I stole you're baby.

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Why do new moms put "BABY ON BOARD" stickers on the backs of their cars? No reason. Hitting someone's car baby inside or not is against the law and very dangerous for passengers of any age.

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Why are gay guys so good at being gay? The black guys told them too.

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How many dyslexics does it take to screw in a light bulb? Dyslexia is a cognitive learning disability characterized by the sufferer's inability to fluently spell, speak and read. Being a intellectual disability, the chances that dyslexia could impair the practical functionality of a sufferer are very slim and hence it it is highly probable that it would only take one dyslexic to change a light bulb in the simplest of conditions. However, to definitively answer this question, I would have to know a range of variables such as the height above the ground at which the light socket is mounted, the physical height of the dyslexic, the voltage and amp characteristics of the light-bulb itself, the physical well-being of the dyslexic etc. These variables are unknown, are not mentioned in the initial question (as is common for this type of question) and hence, I cannot answer this question to any degree of accuracy.

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Why can't Hellen Keller have kids? Because she's dead, therefore does not possess the ability to bear children.

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That awkward momment when there is no Candy in the Van... <3

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Why did Obama give a speech? Because he is the president and people look up to him

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A man walks into a bar, ouch!

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Who found Anne Frank? The Nazis

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A man walks into a bar. He suffers a fatal concussion and the playground is shut down by local police until proper padding is installed.

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Why did the white man beat the black man in a fight? The white man was bigger. Also, he was a black belt in Brazillian Jiu Jitsu.

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In a tangential universe Crispin Glover is the head of scientology

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops