You cant spell chorus with out... Vagina!

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Why did the hipster's coffee burn his tongue? He drank it before it was cool.

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Why can't Julius Caesar use a cell phone? Because he is dead.

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How did john walk on the sun? We don't know, he probably burned to death before getting close.

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what did the man do when he fell off the top of a building? Nothing He DIED!!!!!!

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A priest, a rabbi, and an imam walk into a bar. It's also a bistro, and they have a lovely lunch together.

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A black man checks his watch. He sees that its 3:50, and calmly carries on with his day.

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How did the teenage mother get her baby to stop crying? Multiple stab wounds to its throat

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What do you call hunter ? An anerexic that is skinny as a tooth pick. Duh

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A man told this joke once... it wasn't funny.

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Knock Knock! "Use the friggin' doorbell!"

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Why did the black 10 year old miss school? Because his grandmother just had a severe heart attack and the whole family is coming in to visit and pay their last respects.

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Today's Horoscope for Cancer: You have Cancer.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I am a cow moo

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what did the man say to his cat? sex. -teagan doherty

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A Jewish man and a blonde were in a DIY store, the man buys a box of screws. The woman gets a phone call to find out her son is late for tennis training. She then hangs up the phone and leaves the DIY store with great hast.

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What did the blind pole vaulter say to the speed skater? Hi, how are you?

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What's the difference between a Christian and a Jew? One believes in Jesus, the other doesn't.

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A black guy, a Jew, and a Mexican jump out of a plane. Who dies first? Well, judging by the fact that black people in general have a higher body mass, the black man most likely would smash into the ground first.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To look at the most interesting man in the world.

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Why did the man have no friends? He mudered and ate someone in '86 and is rotting in prison.

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So a plane flies into a world trade centre... That's not funny

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Why couldnt Hellen Keller drive? Because vehicles werent invented yet.

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A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I will ask you one question, and that will determine whether you can enter Heaven." The man nods nervously. St. Peter asks, "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops