I don't always drink beer, but when I do, I have a pint or two.

Two great white sharks are swimming in the ocean together, one turns to the other to speak, but doesn't because sharks can't talk.

What has 4 legs in the morning, 2 legs at noon, and 3 legs in the afternoon? A dog that got its hind legs chopped off, and then only got 1 prosthetic one.

What's the difference between a tree and a lamp? One is a tree, one is a lamp.

Knock knock Who's there? Amy winehouse Amy winehouse who? Amy winehouse died by falling down a flight of stairs.

What do you get a man that has evreything? Aids

There are two muffins in an oven. Since they are inanimate objects, they do nothing but sit there and bake until they are a golden brown color, at which point a man takes them out of the oven and eats them for breakfast.

Why did the 2 black kids jump the barb-wired fence To get to the other side

What did Batman say to Robin before going into the Batmobile? Get in the car.

So, there's three blondes. Two of them walk into a bar. The third one missed it.

Wanna hear a joke? Ruddell had sex.

What do you call a dog riding a bicycle? An talented dog.

How do you get a baby to start crying? Drop a brick on it. How do you get it to stop crying? Drop two bricks on it.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms.

Jimmy has nine bags of sugar. He eats nine bags of sugar. What doeshe have now? Diabetes

what did Shivank say to Ricky? "you suck dick" HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH

How many Japanese people does it take to make a whirlpool? - None, because they're all dead.

What is it too late to do? Apologize...

What's black, white, and red all over? That could describe any number of objects.

How many men does it take to change a light bulb? None, there is nothing wrong with the light bulb.

Knock Knock, Who's there? Alzheimer's Alzheimer's who? Knock Knock...

Q: Why did the irishman walk into the bar A: Because he wanted a drink

Why did the chicken cross the road? Orange ya glad i didn't say banana

What did the hand say to the face? Nothing because body parts cannot speak.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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