One day a married couple have a conversation. The husband says, "Make me a sandwich." The wife says, "Okay, what do you want on it?"

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How many candles did Johnny blow out on his birthday cake? The same number of candles which corresponds to his age.

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Rose's are red, violet's are blue. Rose's die and viloets are more purple.

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What did the man do when he went to the toilet went toilet

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why was the little boy sad? he found out that George Washington was dead.

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Knock knock? Who's there? Not Schrodinger's cat, or is it?

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Q: Why is it funny to laugh at gay men? A: They like men.

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Why did the black man cross the road? Because he lived an worked on opposite sides of the road, and so consequently needed to cross the road to work, and provide an income for his family, so they could have fresh food, clean water, and have money to pay the bills such as the mortgage so they didnt become poor and homeless, which would inevitably lead to illness and an early death for them all.

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what did the chocolate bar say to the ice cream cone? nothing: chocolate bars can't talk

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Why did the chicken die? Because it was crossing a busy road.

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Why did Sarah fall of the swing... She had no arms. Knock knock, who's there... Not Sarah. Face Face, who's there... Probably Sarah.

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A blind man walks into a bar After realising he might be hurt everybody rushes to his aid

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Why did the German burn the Jew? Because he dropped his tea.

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Why did Sally cross the road? Because a rapist was chasing her

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Q: why do orphans always go hard? A: because the can never go home.

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Why was the guy not asleep Because he was awake

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was deaf, dumb, and blind.

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Why did the little boy rush downstairs to the living room on Christmas morning? because he heard his mother screaming rape.

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Roses Are Red Violits Are Blue Screw it RUN!!

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If you're head weren't attached to your shoulders... you'd be dead.

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What do Sylvia Plath and a cake have in common? Nothing.

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A janitor walks into a bar. He cleans the bar.

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Why couldn't the bartender sell alcoholic beverages? He got fired

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Alot of people try to make shitty jokes on this webpage, thinking they're funny. They aren't.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops