A forty-year-old man forces a young child to strip down and take a shower. The child screams and cries, but the man persists angily. He then carries the child into his bed. The child pleads, "Help! Mom, make him stop!" The mother yells back, "Just listen to him. He's your father and it's past your bedtime." This is a common night-time routine for parents with their first child

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How many blondes did it take to screw in the lightbulb? Just one. She did a fine job.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Roses are Red Violets are Blue Some poems have endings

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Kid 1: Mama why is my name Daisy? Mama: Because when you were born a daisy petal fell on your head! Kid 2: Mama why is my name Rose? Mama: Becuase it was a nice name.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Q~ What did the black man say to the priate when he pulled out a AK47? A~ "This is a gun. im going to kill you with it."

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the man with seasonal allergies not take his medication? He had liver disease...read the fine print

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Q: Why did the white man die? A: because he had cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -8

John had 50 candy bars and he ate 45 what does he have...... Diabeaties

thumb_up thumb_down -8

what did the white man say to the mexican man when the mexican stepped in poop? you have poop on your toe

thumb_up thumb_down -8

what do you call a man with no arms or legs jetskiiing? I don't know but it seems a highly improbably situation.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Q: Why did the black man have a gun? A: We was recently indicted for insider trading and preferred suicide to a long prison sentence.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do you get when you cross a road with a car? Severe injuries or even death.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A man walks into a convenient store and asks the cashier where the toilet paper is. She says aisle five. He goes down aisle five and there's no toilet paper.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What did the Albino get for Christmas? Hair dye.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

When life throws you melons, You probably won't catch them.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A man walks into a bar He's an alcoholic and it's ruining his family

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the old man fall down the stairs? Because he was on his wheelchair.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Q. Where did Little Timmy go for Christmas? A. Auschwitz

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Yo mama is so fat, she needs to get serious about her diet, or else she might die of some sort of weight related issue.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What is a poop on a poopstick? A pile of poop.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's the difference between you and a sick duck? I forget the rest but your mother's a whore.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What did the T-rex say to the elephant? i like bananas

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What do you call 20 blondes in a freezer? dinner

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why was the man shot in the head twice? He wasn't because he died after the first and it is nearly impossible to survive a gunshot to the head.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops