Q. What do you call a deceased rodent A. Deadmau5

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Roses are red violets are red bushes are red oh shit my garden is on fire

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how many birds did chuck norris kill with one stone? one.

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Aiming with a revolver? That`s fucking overrated. with a heavy powerful revolver such as this one, you do not necessarily need to aim that well at the heart of your enemy in order to blow his brains out.

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5 little monkeys jumping on the bed, one fell off and bumped his head. Momma called the doctor and the doctor said, "He has a mild concussion."

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A. What is the difference between a pizza and a Jew: B. Pizza's don't scream when you put them into a oven.

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What's the best part about the school burning down? All the children trapped inside never had to grow up

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How do you make a clown cry? Kill his family

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What did the man get on his birthday the week before he died? Obamacare

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Two cows in a field one says Moo the other says, Moo

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why can't Michael Jackson bake a pie???? Because he's dead

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What do you get when you cross a peanut and a snake? peanutsnake

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. At least that's what I've heard, I'm blind.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She has no arms.

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What did Helen Keller say to her friend? Nothing. If you didn't know, she was deaf and blind so she had to use Sign Language.

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No soup for you!

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What do you call a midget driving a train? A conductor

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What do you call a mexican man working at a Taco Bell? A young man freshly out of high-school, who could not get into college because his family is sadly struck with poverty. He also has a baby on the way, due to his poor choice of not using protection when having relations with his girlfriend while he was intoxicated. I wish him the best of luck!

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Your dad is so abusive that he hurts you when he losses his temper

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot, you racist.

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Why was the little kid sad at a funeral. He was actually happy and he was at six flags

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What does the man do to his meat? He beats it.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into a worm and finding an apple

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How do you turn a fruit into a vegetable? A car crash.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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