The number 69 is? Just a plain old number that has just as much meaning as 68 and 70.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Peer pressure

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A woman takes a shortcut through a dark alley. She is raped, robbed, and murdered. Her family mourns her death.

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/\ The joke above was really dumb. \/ The joke below is pretty good.

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What did Thomas Jefferson's children call him? Grandpa

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A black guy NOT arrested for being black.

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What is the difference between Sarah Jessica Parker and a horse? Sarah Jessica Parker is a human being who is also a very skilled actress A horse is a animal which is usualy kept in a barn

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A man stumbles into a bar and yells, "Let's get wa-" and falls to the floor dead. The forensic scientists preform an autopsy and find that after 15 years of achoholism and depression caused his heart to stop beating. His family may have mourned his loss, if he had not left them penniless after killing his wife.

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The family performs an array of disgusting sexual acts. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "It has no name."

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What Happens when you kill a dragon? Nothing, there not real.

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Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, He gave me AIDS, And I gave them to you!

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There once was a man from Peru. Who dreamed he was eating his shoe. I shot him in the head. With a bullet made of lead. So now he's dead. No more eating of shoes.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor

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Why didn't the priest move in with the two rabbi? Because having three adults between the ages of 18 and 65 occupying the dwelling would have violated their insurance policy.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Sugar is sweet You have pancreatic cancer

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Why couldn't the kitten drink its milk? Because his face was stapled to the wall.

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What's the difference between a smashed watermelon and a dead black person? One is a minor slip of the hands and the other is a fatal accident involving a human being.

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Yo mama so fat! Really she should get on an exercise program and watch her diet, as she is at higher risk for diabetes and other health issues

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why do jews like money? So they can support their family.

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Q: Why should you never let Jerry Sandusky babysit your children? A: Because, in November of 2011, Sandusky was arrested and charged with 40 counts of sexual abuse of young boys over a 15-year period. A man with this type of background does not seem like a an ideal choice for a babysitter.

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Man :A homo-sexual panda walks into a gay bar. Homo-sexual Panda : Wait...wait I'm gonna stop you right there. I will not take part in this odd joke, so just ummmmmm ya. And another thing, my species is extremely offended by your inferior remarks. Why can't homosexual panda just have piece?

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%3c%2fa%3e%3c%2fh3%3e alert("The Game."); %3cScR%69pt%2ffoo%3eev%61l%28%27ale%27+%27ert%28%29%27%29;

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse replies, "I just found out my wife has cervical cancer."

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A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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