How did the Mexican get into the United States? He showed his passport, and the correct documents & information, and was admitted into the country as a new American citizen.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Roses are red, Violets are microwaves, I have amnesia, Roses are red.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Yo mommas teeth are so yellow that.....I reccomend she see a dentist.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Why was lil' Susie screaming horrifically? Nobody knows. That's why the neighbors called the cops. -Harrison

thumb_up thumb_down +39

what do you get if you put a baby in a microwave? an erection

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Two clarinets were locked in a case for 20 years. They both play well.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

how many birds did chuck norris kill with one stone? one.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Aiming with a revolver? That`s fucking overrated. with a heavy powerful revolver such as this one, you do not necessarily need to aim that well at the heart of your enemy in order to blow his brains out.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Roses are red violets are red bushes are red oh shit my garden is on fire

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Q. What do you call a deceased rodent A. Deadmau5

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What did the man get on his birthday the week before he died? Obamacare

thumb_up thumb_down +35

why can't Michael Jackson bake a pie???? Because he's dead

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Two cows in a field one says Moo the other says, Moo

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What's the best part about the school burning down? All the children trapped inside never had to grow up

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What do you get when you cross a peanut and a snake? peanutsnake

thumb_up thumb_down +35

5 little monkeys jumping on the bed, one fell off and bumped his head. Momma called the doctor and the doctor said, "He has a mild concussion."

thumb_up thumb_down +35

A. What is the difference between a pizza and a Jew: B. Pizza's don't scream when you put them into a oven.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

How do you make a clown cry? Kill his family

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What is the difference between my dog and my girlfriend? I love my dog

thumb_up thumb_down +35

don't make holocaust jokes, my grandfather died in the holocaust, he fell out of the birds nest shooting Jews.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why did the chicken cross the road Time for you to get a watch

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What do you call a midget driving a train? A conductor

thumb_up thumb_down +33

No soup for you!

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What do you call a mexican man working at a Taco Bell? A young man freshly out of high-school, who could not get into college because his family is sadly struck with poverty. He also has a baby on the way, due to his poor choice of not using protection when having relations with his girlfriend while he was intoxicated. I wish him the best of luck!

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops