what do you find at the top of mountains? things

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A- Knock knock. B- Who's there? A- The interrupting doctor. B- The interrupt- A- You have cancer.

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Why did the man yell? Cause he wanted to!

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Why did the fat guy smell bad? He just farted diarrhea.

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What's big, purple, and smells like children? Barney

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Why did Suzie fall of the swing? Because Suzie was a cucumber.

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A german police officer sees a Rabbi. Nothing happens, it's 2011

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A man came home one day, drunk and feeling horny. He proceeded to the bedroom where he found his wife just getting into bed in a lace bra and sexy underwear. This turned him on even more so he cuddled up to her and whispered seductivly in her ear before kissing her neck. His wife was not in the mood for sex so she shot him

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A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen, warning him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and other bad life consquences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

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Why are rich guys gay? Because they can afford to be

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what is black and hangs from the tree in my back yard? a moldy apple.

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Q: The girl fell for the guy, but the guy was sad about it, why? A: Because she fell off a cliff.

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your in court a woman police officer says anything you say can and will be held against you. the man replies titty

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How do you make a drug dealer cry? Just say no

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What did the wife get her husband after he became a paraplegic in a car accident? Divorce papers.

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A bar walks into a man

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Me: f*** off Asshole: YOU'RE MOM! Me: -is dead.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead! Why did the bird fall out of the tree? It was attatched to the monkey! Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? .....................peer pressure

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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What did Harry get for his Birthday? Nothing nobody likes Harry.

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Why didn't Johnny ride his bike to school today? Because it is Saturday

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Why did the toddler fall over? He's an Iraqi child and has been shot in both legs, being readied for a public execution for fighting on the opposing side.

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What would you call the jetsons if they were black? Niggers

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Q: Why did the irishman walk into the bar A: Because he wanted a drink

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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