Chuck Norris can carry very heavy objects.

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What do you call a black person born in America? American.

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roses are red you are dumb no one will care when you die

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A blonde, a brunette and a redhead dive off a motorboat. They are sucked into the propeller and brutally disfigured instantly.

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Whats worse than not having fun at a party? Getting so drunk at a party that you shat in your pants Whats worse than shatting in your pants at a party drunk? Shatting in you pants twice because you were so drunk again.

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Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it thought it was a game. Why did the tree fall over? Because it thought it was a squirrel.

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What is the difference between a dead baby and a mustang? I dont have a mustang in my garage.

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a piece of string walks into a bar and the bartender says “sorry we dont serve your kind here” so the string goes outside twists himself round and ruffles up one of his ends then walks back into the bar, the bartender says “aren’t you the piece of string i just kicked out?” the string then replies “i’m a frayed knot”

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A frog goes to a lake. he meets a photographer , the frog ask him ( can you take a picture of me? he says: sure ...say cheese.... then the frog said :....yogurt

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Why was the girl running out of the school? Because her principal was trying to rape her.

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What's small, white, and it killed Bruce Lee? Aspirin.

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What's purple and tastes like grapes? Grapes

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Why did the rapper carry an umbrella? Because it was raining.

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What did the farmer say after the chicken started talking? Holy shit a talking chicken

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Whats worse than finding a worm in an apple? having a worm sized penis.

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What's black and white and red all over? Michael Jackson after his operation.

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Why did the cow cross the road? -Because it lives in India and is allowed to.

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what did the dog say to the cat? bark what did the cat say to the dog? nothing it ran away

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poo

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I was going to write a joke about procrastination, but I haven't gotten to it yet.

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what is like a duck and quacks ? A duck.

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a chicken and a rooster walk into a bar. and then walk out because a bar is no place for a chicken and a rooster.

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Do you wanna build a snowman ? No.

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A man walks into a bar, sits down and talks to the woman sitting next to him. The woman took out a cigarette, and offered one to the man. The man said yes, even though he never smoked before, because he was trying to get with the woman. They smoked a few more before the woman left, and the man left shortly after. The man became a chain smoker and died 1 year later from lung cancer caused by smoking multiple packs a day.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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