What's the warmest organ in a dead baby's body? My penis

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Why is John single? Because women are materialistic.

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what did the maker of anti jokes website say while reading some of the jokes on here? these people r idiots. and he lived happily ever after. then died. Good one

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I thought about taking a nice warm shower, but then I realized that the power was out and it would probably be a cold shower.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What do you call your mom? Mom

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Why are black people good at basketball? Because they train hard and practice daily.

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here's my two cents worth! *hands you two pennies , entire life savings*

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I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

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If a blonde and a feather were dropped off of a building at the same time, which would hit the ground first? A feather is a light object and would most likely float all the way down at a slow velocity, the blonde is most likely 100+ pounds and would die because she is stupid.

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Q: Where's the cheese? Who ate the cheese? A: How do you know it's been eaten because it's gone? Are you making the assumption that food that has disappeared was eaten because that is usually how food disappears? I am filing a lawsuit against you for your malevolent foodism.

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Why did sally fall off the swing? She got her arms cut off. Why did Sally drop her ice cream? She got hit by a truck. Knock. Knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Mahjdichdhsjxidjhsbxu shcowiqx own hdqu Hedgehog the third

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What did one homo-sexual say to his four homo-sexual friends? Were One Direction!!

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A man walks into a bar. He buys a drink.

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What is the difference between a trampoline and a baby? You take your boots of before jumping on the trampoline!!!!!!!!!

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Knock Knock Who's there? Gilbert Gilbert who? Goddamn it David just open the door

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Why did the blonde make pasta even though she had a gluten allergy? She had some Italian friends coming over. Also she bought some gluten-free pasta and sauce so she wouldn't need to be hospitalized.

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What is the difference between Jews and boy scouts? Jews are a religious group. Boy scouts are a group of boys who enjoy camping and other outdoor activities.

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Q: Why didn't i save my work? A: Because i didn't do any work?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it had escaped from the farmer's field. The family were not too disheartened, as the rest were still contained.

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What did a Chinese man say to the other Chinese man? I don't know, I don't speak Chinese.

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A man walks into a bar and sees a man with a big orange head. The man asks the bartender, "Why does that guy have a big orange head?" The bartender replies," If you buy him a beer, maybe he'll tell you." So the man buys a beer and gives it to the man with the big orange head and asks why he has a big orange head. The man says, "One day I found a genie and my first wish was to be the richest man in the world, my second wish was to be married to the most beautiful woman in the world, and for my third wish, I told the genie,'Ya know, why don't you give me a big orange head."

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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