How do you get a baby to stop crying? Hit it with a brick.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

They see me rollin' They hatin' Patrolin they try to catch write a joke Try to catch me write a joke Try to catch me write a joke (tootle loo, I see you ;)

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Roses are red Violets are blue I have Ebola How about you?

thumb_up thumb_down -13

My girlfriend dumped me because I'm patronizing. That means I treat people like they're stupid.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

you know what? CHICKEN BUTT. butt of chicken ahahahaa

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Dislike if you are a prostitute

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you call a guy with a rainbow tuxedo on? A classy man that is very well dressed

thumb_up thumb_down -13

I don't often drink beer, but when I do, I make the poor decision to attempt to drive while intoxicated, kill a pedestrian, and end up in jail with a hangover, a DUI, and an account of vehicular homicide. Don't drink and drive simultaneously.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Q: How do you drown a black guy? A: Hold his head underwater and sit on his back.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Knock Knock Who's there? The police. Your under arrest for drug trafficking and possession of illegal firearms. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say...

thumb_up thumb_down -13

why did the mexican beat your ass larry clark III because you live in a apartment with your mom and dad who are black your dad has a truck your mom recked her car

thumb_up thumb_down -13

what do you get when you combine an astronaut, a microwave and a bathtub? A suicide investigation

thumb_up thumb_down -13

whats worse than a worm in your apple? the Holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Do they have a fourth of July in England? Yes, but it is just a sad reminder to them that all the cool people left for America.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

so a baby seal walks into a club, the bouner immedietly kicks the seal out because it is too young to be in a club and also.....itsa seal

thumb_up thumb_down -13

I think my son might be gay. He's started to listen to Justin Bieber, and last week I walked in on him engaging in penetrative anal sex with one of his friends.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Bob loves Anne. Anne loves Bob. No one cares.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

If monkeys ate trees, than what would trees be made out of? No one knows because that will never happen.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

roses are read, violets are blue. i have alzheimers and Jill came tumbling down.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you call a man sitting at the bar drinking alone? An alcoholic.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

how do you get a clown to fall off a swing? hit him with an ax

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A man walks into a bar falls into the street and gets run over. It was very tragic

thumb_up thumb_down -13

dry handjob

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops