why did the chicken cross the road? it didnt it got hit by a bus.

Magic! Well not really, you see, people that are stressed have the tendency to remain far longer into the state of hypnosis because their body conciously and subconciously (I am typoing it, but I cant bother to type it correctly fuck it) seek out the state of peace that hypnosis gives more often. Anyway, I know another thing that helps relieve stress, cough... Now, did you know that if you push your nose upwards slightly, you will feel a finger between your legs? its because nerve endings are connected that way, give it a go.

What sound did the man make? Splatt. He fell off a building.

What is black and white and can't fit through a revolving door? A nun with a harpoon through her back.

How do you get 100 Africans in a phone box? Throw a can of beans in there.

Every week or so Chuck Norris does his laundry.

- Knock Knock - Who is it ? - I'm a Jehovah witness - Sorry, I don't know anyone by the name of "a Jehovah witness". Bye.

What's better then 100 dead babies in a barrel 1 dead baby in 100 barrels

Why didn't the Irishman walk into the bar? Beacause he had killed himself the previous night as a result of his alcoholism.

man 1.have u sen my girl friend man 2. yes man 1. rely man 2. no man 1. dick

Once their was an ugly barnacle. He was sooooo ugly that everyone died! The end. :D

Get some flipping new jokes people

A blonde, a red head, and a brunette are on an island. Due to the law of averages, this isn't that unlikely or significant.

What do you call a human with no eye? A Human.

Why did the plane crash? Because he pilot was a loaf of bread

Q: What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the bat mobile? A: Robin get in the bat mobile.

You walk by a boy and see he is playing with poop. You ask the boy what are you doing? He says I'm building a office. You ask him why he says "because I don't have shit to make a building"

Why did the lemon eat salt? I DON'T KNOW!!

I was watching Fox news.

Whats the difference between a black guy and a bench? Ones a person and the others a bench.

What do you get when you cross an ugly hobo and a diabetic? Don't talk about your mom like that.

What does a man want more than sex? Nothing.

24

What did the orange say to the apple? “To be sentient is truly unbearable without sexual organs.”

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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