Harry to Voldemort: Your mother is so fat, her patronus is a cake!

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2 muffins were in the oven when one turned to the other and said. "Damn it's hot in here" The second muffin looked at him with a shocked expression and exclaims "She's burning the potatoes!"

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A gorilla walks into a bar and gets a banana martini. The bartender thinks that this is peculiar, and then he realizes he is dreaming. He wakes up and tells his wife about this ridiculous dream that he had. His wife ignores him, and the man rolls over and begins to sob because he realizes that his marriage is in shambles.

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Guy 1: What is long, hard and full of semen? Guy 2: A submarine. Guy 1: No, my penis.

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"What's up?" "A movie about an old man who takes his house to South America by tying balloons to it, who accidentally brings along a young boy with him and they have an adventure."

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What do you call an asian jumping off of a building? A suicide victim.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Suzie.

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What are annoying? Ads.

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Knock, Knock! Go away!

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A black man walks into a bar and a white man says "we don't allow coloured men in here". the black man sighs and walks out, wondering what he ever did wrong, and makes his way to the liqour store, to buy some beer to drown his sorrows over his mothers death. On the way, a racist white man shoots and kills him. Then, at his funeral, someone makes the joke "Wow, how ironic. The black guy was the victim.."

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Fuzzy Wuzzy was bear, Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair, and died of cancer

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http://www.com/

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. Except when I said muffins I meant Jews. .. I guess it really isn't that funny anymore.

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How many mathematicians does it take to count?

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so a jewish man walks into a bar. He looks at the bartender and says...this better be free

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Why did the man cry... He got hit with a fridge

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what do you call a mexican in a coffee shop? a customer and/or worker in the coffee shop.

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What did the man say to the ugly woman? Your face makes my penis soft.

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What did T Pain say to the skipper of his yacht? I'm on a yacht

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What do you call Ed Milliband after he's been decapitated? Dead Milliband.

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Persond A: A guy blows himself and his family up with a hand grenade Person B: HEY!!! Thats not funny thats how my family died

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender says "why the long face?" He says, "I have acromegaly"

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why do gingers have no friends? They are non sentient stems that are simply not capable of interacting with intellectual humans

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How do you have se with hellen keller? Very sweetly

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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