Two muffins are sitting in an oven.

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Why did the cop hate black people? He was a racist.

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Whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and a ferrari? I dont have a ferrari in my garage!

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Is it colder on a farm than in the winter?

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A man walks into a bar. Another man becomes the Limbo State Champion.

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Hey, you know what would be funny? A joke.

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Yo momma's so poor, she needs to work 2 jobs to support her family.

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Why didn't Johns book get published? He had dyslexia.

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Smell your breath Coamhin you smelly cunt

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Do you know why the Mexican didn't like hot dogs? I don't know either.

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Why couldn't the man stop dancing? Because he had Parkinson's.

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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Why did the plane crash The pilot, being an uneducated pilot, crashed the plane as he didn't have proper training, and the whole of the passengers died.

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Why did the deer cross the road? The overpopulation of man has caused an expansion of construction into the habitat of the deer and it has required him to occasionally frequent human populated areas.

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Yamum is so poor that she has trouble supporting herself and paying her own bills. Subsiqeunetly she had her electricity and home phone cut off, not that she would have any use for a home phone with her electricity cut off anyway. She sits on her bed and cries herself to sleep each night and has been thrown into depression due to her spiraling financial debts of which she can see no end to. This has led to several attempts to take her own life to hopefully finally find a way out of her misery and debt.

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An Asian, white, and a black man decide to play Russian Roulette. The Asian goes first and shoots himself in the head. The white man picks up the gun for his turn. The black man runs down the street screaming. Cops see him and the white man holding the gun, both are sent to jail for life for the murder of their friend.

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Q. What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? A. One's a scum-sucking bottom feeder, and the other's a highly trained professional skilled in the art of litigation.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse becomes depressed. He didn't ask to look like this. He drinks himself into a stupor, and then crashes into another car on the highway on the way home, killing a family of five. The horse is now in jail for life.

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I saw a woman get burned alive on the news... That woman was my mom.

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Q: why was the baker a coward? A: his own mother told him his potential would amount to nothing more than a baker and when a dinosaur came into the bakery he ran away

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Why was the 15 year old boy always alone in his bedroom making strange noises? Because he was struggling to fight back the tears following his single mother's recent suicide, driven by her despair over the reality that her son was an out of control drug addict, just like his no-good father who ran out on them.

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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Two scientists are experimenting with sulfuric acid. One scientist says to the other, "Did you see the new intern?" In the process of turning to face the first scientist, the second scientist knocks the beaker over and spills sulfuric acid all over the first scientist's hand. The first scientist writhes in pain as the second scientist rushes to find a strong base to neutralize the burn. After a few minutes, the first scientist is rushed off to the emergency room and suffers from some serious chemical burns.

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One sunny Tuesday morning, Tom and his friends were outside playing at the park. Then, suddenly, a violent storm was rapidly approaching. It was recommended that everyone should seek shelter immediately.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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