How does Ron Weasley greet Harry in the morning? Mornin' Horry, how did ghe' sleep?

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What are three things an average teenager cannot live without? Oxygen, Food, and Water. Duh.

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A gay man watches football.

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Your mom's house is so old, that she has rats and other various critters such as spiders, gnats, and mosquitoes.

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What's a computer without Internet? A computer.

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A man walks into a bar and poops his pants. He left because of the embarrassment.

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why did the Asian father want his son to be a doctor? because he wants his son to live good life so he could have a loving family and a payable job.

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A man walks into a bar. What does he say? A: Ow.

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how many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? --probably just one, unless cerebral palsy runs in her blood, therefore her aid would assist her.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Spilling Dr. Pepper on your carpet

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What's the best thing about having sex with twenty six year olds? There's twenty of them.

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Sloths

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Why did the christmas tree smell like shit? because pavaroti used it as a dildo

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what did one ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing, They just waved.

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where would you find a blind man's car? exactly where he left it...

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Why do dead babies go to funerals? They don't.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the marginal benefit of doing so exceeded the marginal cost.

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you go up your hole down your hole between your hole and you rock and roll

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Whats the difference between Megan Fox and a dead baby? Megan Fox is alive

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a piece of string walks into a bar and the bartender says “sorry we dont serve your kind here” so the string goes outside twists himself round and ruffles up one of his ends then walks back into the bar, the bartender says “aren’t you the piece of string i just kicked out?” the string then replies “i’m a frayed knot”

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Why didn't Santa deliver presents until the night after Christmas? You should go ask someone who knows.

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ill take a bullet for you... on call of duty... nahhh that ruins my kd

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Wanna hear a joke? Me neither.

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How many teachers would it take to find their way out of a maze? Depends on their area of speciality. If the teacher(s) are mathematicians or logicians, probably one or two at most. If they are home economics teachers, possibly more.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops