What happens when you wake a sleepwalker? Waking sleepwalkers does not harm them. While it is true that a person may be confused or disoriented for a short time after awakening, this does not cause them further harm. In contrast, sleepwalkers may injure themselves if they trip over objects or lose their balance while sleepwalking. Such injuries are common among sleepwalkers.

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A man on an airplane is extremely frustrated by a small, screaming child. He puts on his headphones and listens to music.

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John walked up to his dad one morning and shouted, "Dad, it's my birthday!" Dad said, "Cool, how old are you?" John says, "I'm seven!" Dad tells him to go downstairs and tell his grandpa. John runs down and says, "Grandpa, it's my birthday, guess how old I am!" Grandpa sticks his hand in John's pants and sticks his thumb into his anus. As he pulls his hand out, he pinches his penis. Grandpa says, "You're seven." John says, "How did you know?" Grandpa says, "I heard you tell your dad upstairs."

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why was the little boy sad he found out he had breast cancer

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Good friends are like snowflakes. They disappear when you pee on them.

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I started writing poetry the other day: POETR That's coming along nicely.

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What's worse than 10 dead babies nailed to a tree? one dead baby nailed to ten trees

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Religion.

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Why are apples cheaper than lemons? Because you have to pay less money then lemons to buy them

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What do you call a gay mexican on welfare? poor

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Why did the blonde tattoo her zip code on her stomach? She wanted a tattoo.

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Knock Knock Who's There? Jehovah's Witness

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Your mom is so stupid that her parents were probably ashamed of her low grades.

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What's brown and sticky A stick

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Who's the best German Chef? Hitler

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John went to the shop to purchase a can of coca cola. He left the shop with a can of coca cola.

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What song does a bulimic person sing while on the toilet? Nothing Bulimic people don't poop.

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Whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpion? Getting raped by two giant black scorpions.

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Q. What did the girl on drugs get for Easter? A. Down Syndromes Disease.

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Why did the guy fail his driving test? He was blind.

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What did the black guy who was lost in Syria say? "Where am I?"

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A blonde dies Lololol

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Why did 3 kids mom's die last year? Because they were depressed and committed suicide.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? -Because he was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? -He was stapled to the first one Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? -He thought it was a game Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? -He had no arms Why did the girl fall off her bike? -She was hit by 3 monkeys and a refrigerator

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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