The 80's called. They need their couch back.

Hey, guess what. What? ... Hello? Sorry, I don't talk to strangers.

Why didn't Johnny ride his bike to school today? Because it is Saturday

why did the irishman leave the bar he had to go to his sons birthday party

What did the giraffe say to the walrus? Nothing. Giraffes can't talk. What did the Scotsman say to the walrus? Nothing. Scotsmen can't talk.

What does a sailboad and a walrus have in common? Nothing.

Why did a Jewish man have no hair left? He recently got a haircut.

what did the man do when he was at the end of his rope? he bought more rope.

Why did the little boy didn't finish his dinner? He died.

How many fish does it take to brush their teeth? Jp's worth of fish isn't enough.

What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? Nothing. His parents are dead and Santa doesn't exist.

What is more disappointed the Lake Disappointment? You

Deja moo: The feeling you've heard this bull before.

What do you call a deer with no eyes? A hurt animal that should promtly be taken to the RSPCA for surgery.

Whats big black and hairy? A large black dog.

How many stripes are there on a policeman's socks? None, policemen must wear regulation plain black socks.

justin beiber sucks

What happened when the Mexican put the Popsicles in the fridge? They melted

Roses are red Violets are blue Most poems rhyme But this one doesnt

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

What's the difference between a cow? Trick question—cows eat carrots!

Why did the sailor fall off the boat? Because vampires arent real.

the next time someone says "yolo" im going to pull out my shotgun and reply "sadly..."

How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb? None. Mice don't have the strength required to do that.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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