What's black, white, and red all over? A intro of darkness, then redness then whiteness

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why did the man beat his wife because he was mean

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How did Helen Keller's parents discipline her? Hopefully not too sternly. There's not much trouble a blind and deaf girl can get into, one would imagine.

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Q. What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in front of a door? A. Matt

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Jumping out of an airplane is a once in a lifetime expeirence.

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Yo mama so stupid, she signed an apointment with Dr. Pepper

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poop.

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What's funnier than a dead baby? A joke.

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why did dominic buy a new speaker on holiday because his parents died and his was at home

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick

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whats my name? Matt

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Why is the chicken on the road? Cuz he died trying to get to the other side.

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How did the dog die? He was put down.

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How do you torture Helen Keller? Tie her down and plant a bamboo seed under her.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have amnesia! Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have amnesia! Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have amnesia! Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have amnesia......

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A man is on his way home from a business trip and walks into his house. He is quite as to not wake up his wife or kids. He gets to the bedroom to find his wife in bed with the neighbor. He is shocked at what he came home to and decides to file for divorce. She was a stay at home mom and loses everything because of the divorce. The man woke up from his horrible nightmare and kissed his wife on the cheek. She has always been faithful. He decides to tell her about the dream and, for insurance, emphasizes the part where she loses everything in the divorce. They happily live out the rest of their lives together.

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why didnt the whiteperson sit down at obama's election? because he had hemorrhoids

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There was a man sinking in quick sand. He looked in the sky and said, "God, if you spare my life, I'll be a great person and believe in you all my life." He died.

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A vegetarian walked into a butcher Luckily he realized where he was and walked out!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Probably because this chicken had a mental disability and saw on the news that there was a hospital on the other side of the road that could treat his illness and possibly save his life, allowing him to fulfill his life-long dream of retirement. But knowing that chickens do not possess the brain power capable of understanding the situation that this chicken was in, it had probably gotten lost and just wandered off.

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Why did the Jews go into the shower? Because they had just finish a basketball game and they needed to freshen up.

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Wanna hear a joke? Woman's rights.

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What's worse that pooping in your pants having someone see it

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Q: IMAGINE that your in a heart racing battle with a huge grizzly bear when suddenly a bird picks you up and carries you to china and leaves you on the adge of a cliff which then you are chased by warriors and are forced to jump off the edge. What do you do? A: Wake up

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops