That Rachael chick needs to get back in the kitchen

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Why did the little girl with no arms an legs cry? Because she fell off the swing.

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What did the chicken do? He crossed the road.

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What do you call a person who is deaf. It doesn't matter, they wont be able to hear it when you call them.

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what is the difference betweeb 69 and 77? 8

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What long black and tasty? Licorice

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Q: How did Helen Keller cross the street? A: She walked.

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how do you get a blonde to stop following you? file a restraining order.

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A little blind girl goes up to her mum and says, "Mummy, mummy, when will I be able to see?" Her mum replies "I'll tell you what, I'll take you to the chemist and get you some special cream for your eyes and you will be able to see in the morning." So off they went to the chemist, got the cream, and went home, all the while the little girl was getting more and more excited at the prospect of being able to see again. Once they got home, the mother put the cream on the little girls eyes, wrapped a bandage around her head, and took her to bed. The following morning the little girl stumbled into her mums bedroom and excitedly shouted "Quick mummy, take off the bandage so that i will be able to see again." So the mother slowly took of all the bandages, taking her time, and all the while the little girl was getting more and more excited. Once they were off the little girl said "But mummy, I still can't see." To which the mother replied, "April fool!"

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Once upon a time in a far away kingdom, people lived in it. The End.

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A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

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Why did Kristi drop her chap-stick? Kristi was of the many children held in hostage of the Jewish heritage during the times of Hitler's wrath. At the Concentration camps they were not given the opportunity to maintain a healthy, average diet thus decreasing her body strength. No longer could Kristi hold her chap-stick - alas her frail little fingers slowly released the cylinder shaped tube and hopelessly watched it hit the ground. As it hit the ground, a cloud of dust swept over Kristi's body. At the same time Kristi was taking a big whiff of fresh air (just kidding, the air at concentration camps were not fresh - it reeked of acid) she accidentally inhaled the dirt which fled through her body and made her faint. She woke up and it was a dream, lol.

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Why did the sloth cross the road? To slaughter your entire family.

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Why did the chicken cross the road?? Blue.

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Knock Knock. Whose there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad I didn't say banana?

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A deaf man walks into a bar. Someone yells, "FIRE!" and everyone evacuates. The deaf man does not hear him and dies horribly.

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Michael J Fox may not be able to draw a perfect circle but he sure can jerk off like a champ

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Why did the African cross the road? Because he was searching for his family after his village was massacred by rebel soldiers.

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Why do we oftenly see african cry for nothing? Because this is the only way they get water.

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Roses are red, Violets are brown, F*** who's had a shit in my garden.

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whats the king of the forest, is the color brown and is red all over? A deer or someone's soon to be dinner.

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a woman gives birth at the hospital in china and then the doctor comes in and says doctor- i have good news and bad news for your baby mother-what is it doctor- bad or good mother-bad doctor-the bad news is that the baby is a girl and the good news is that your baby has cancer

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Q: what did the grandmother give to her grandson. A: a lightbulb

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Why was the black guy sitting in the back of the bus? Because there were no more seats available in the front.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops