An optimistic person says the glass is half full Pessimistic people say the glass is half empty Engineers say the glass is 2 times the size it needs to be.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A man named Hank, from Idaho takes a trip to Michigan. When he arrives, he rents a house and starts a meth lab. Hank is spending 7 years in jail. Hank was charged with stealing.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

The Female Orgasm

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's the difference between a lesbian and a Pringle ? One is a snack cracker, the other is a crack snacker.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

So I was walking along the beach one day and I see this whale. Then this dolphin named Lennie came up and was like, "Hey whale, how've you been? I haven't seen you in a while." And the whale was like, "Sorry, but I can't talk to you." And Lennie was like, "Whyever not?" And the whale said, "Because I'm not a starfish!"

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Roses are red Roses are white and I one time saw a purple one

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Two trains, on the same track, left different stations, and travelled in opposite directions. 74 people died.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A blond, a brunette, and a red head are stranded on an island. They all die of starvation.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the bones cross the street? They didn't. The dogs ate them.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

what is orange and blue 2 colors

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's Funny About A Black Man Being Shot? Nothing, That Man Was My Friend.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the African cross the road? Because he was searching for his family after his village was massacred by rebel soldiers.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

what is red white and blue? the french flag

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why couldn't Gladice get out of bed? Because she was dead!

thumb_up thumb_down +14

- why did the chicken cross the road? why? - to get to your house. - knock knock. who's there? - the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Q: What's worse than finding a hundred dead babies, in one bin? A: Finding one dead baby, in a hundred bins.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did a Jewish man have no hair left? He recently got a haircut.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A man walks outside and sits down to eat his sandwich.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

"Knock Knock" "Come in"

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why didn't Jesus like Pizza? Because Pizza doesn't exist.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender if he'd would like to make a wager. The bartender replies, "no."

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Q. Why are most jews unemployed? A. They all got fired.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead! Why did the bird fall out of the tree? It was attatched to the monkey! Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? .....................peer pressure

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Knock Knock. Who's there? Who. Who, Who? Shut up you damn owl, I'm trying to deliver a pizza.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops