A seal walks into a club.

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How many squirrels does it take to screw out a light bulb? None because squirrels lack the strength and mind set to screw out a light bulb.

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The horse walks into the bar and the bartender says, "why the long face?" the horse looks at him and says, "my wife just died."

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Which came first? The chicken? Or the egg? Whichever one was more sexually excited i guess.

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I remember my days you know in the army, agfanifuckingstan, got dirty water, then spent a week shitting... Anyway, I was holding a grenade right? And then two of them came around and I was like "here come good boy! GOOOD BOY! Catch the ball!" And then I pulled the pin and threw it. Aww shut up, you are all like "YOU SOLDIER KILL PUPPIES!" NO THOSE WHERE KIDS! And they would have been like 15 today and been killing your men today! YOU ARE SO FUCKING WELCOME!

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If you listen to Justin Beiber all day long, what do you become? Very hungry and thirsty. And you need to go to the restroom.

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What's the difference between Josef fritsal and a fridge? A fridge can be thrown at a bowl of custard.

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Your mom is so old she died

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Knock Knock Who's there? A Crazy Rhinoceros

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What happened to the lion which escaped from the zoo? It was successfully recaptured.

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What's the difference between an orange? A bicycle because a vest doesn't have any sleeves.

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Dollar ice tea... I drink that Supa hot fire... i spit that Two and a half men................... I watch that

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How do you blind an Asian man You stab him six times in each eye socket and drop cyan pepper in his eye wound.

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Chose to describe yourself: Green thumb: Tall wealthy, good looking, intelligent man with a model wife, a ferrari expensivo, a hotel just for yourself. Red thumb: A below average piece of shit? Green thumb? Dont lie to me you piece of sh*t!

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How are humans like slinkies? - They are not good for very much and bring a smile to your face when pushed down the stairs!

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Why did the kitten cross the road? Because its owners abandoned it.

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Are you thinking Arby's? No. My grandmother died of tuberculosis and it's troubling me.

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what's yellow and hovers? a yellow hovercraft.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm an expert on flowers.

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Why did Chuck Norris start crying? Because he was in a coma

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Knock Knock Who's there? The KKK, got any blacks?

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Q: How many Jews are there in Germany? A: None, they all died in the holocaust

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Knock knock! Who's there? Hitler, time to shower!

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Joe goes to the bathroom with someone in the next stall named Bill Bill: "Hi" Joe: "Hi" Bill: "How you doing" Joe: "Good" Bill: "You traveling" Joe: "Yes to Alabama" Bill: "Yeah, I got to go a guy in the next stall answering all my questions bye"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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