A girl walks into a supermarket. She picks up a banana, a can of soup, and a loaf of bread. She then walks up to the cash register to pay. The cashier looks at her and the items she has and says, "I can tell you're single." She smiles and responds, "How do you know that?" He says, "Because you're ugly."

jasper walks into a bar, he sees an elephant and can't believe his eyes. he says "HORGWARSH!"

I didn't know that guy did crossfit

What Is big, round, and looks like gaben. Gaben!

What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the Batmobile? Get in the Batmobile.

why did the tortoise cross the road? it does not matter, it got hit by a vehicle and died on impact.

Why couldn't the mute kid tell his mom the house was on fire? Casue he fell down the stairs and broke his hands...

V I T A M I N C !

Guess who thinks your pretty? Hellen Keller

Why did Sally ask for ketchup? She wanted to use it on her french fries.

whats the difference between a black man and a terd ? one is a black man the other is a terd

Dwarf Shortage

What was the last thing Batman said to Robin before they got in the Batmobile Robin, get in the Batmobile.

Jamie: Peter your hands smell like cows! Jason: eeh no they smell like cows balls

Does 2 + 2 = fish? No.

What's the coolest place to be in the solar system? Uranus.

What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut.

Do you know how to save a drowning laywer? Approach with caution as drowing victims can panic, thus pushing you under. If possible throw a floatation device rather than go in yourself, or hold out a stick and instruct them to grab one end while you pull them in with the other. If necessary perform CPR. Call an ambulance and monitor for hypothermia.

Why did Sidney drop her ice cream? A refrigerator fell on er

what do you call a fat black cat and a skinny white dog? Just two animals that are judged.

What's worse than dropping an ice-cream cone? A dead baby. What's worse than a dead baby? Two dead babies. What's worse than two dead babies? The holocaust. What's worse than the holocaust? Dropping two ice-cream cones.

A drunk guy walks into a car

I pulled a disabled girl in the pub last night. The handle on her wheelchair was caught in my jacket.

knock knock whos there? jim okay come in.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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