- Anti Joke

sorry about this, my enter key is stuck down... Really sorry guys. Nearly fixed it. Look I said I was sorry! All fixed :~D

Welcome to the anti-joke Olympics! As you can see ladies and gentlemen, our contestants are starting to look very excited as the "who can look the most bored" competition is just about to begin! We are terribly sorry to announce that as for the butterfly style contest, all of the butterflies drowned :( While at this corner, we can see these contestants have been waiting patiently for hours for the "who is the most impatient" contest to begin! While over here, none of our contestants have yet to make a chicken cross the road and tell them why! In the meantime watch as we mistreat these Jews in order to find out what is worse, the holocaust or a worm in your apple! So far our contestants with worms in their apples are complaining more, but dying significantly less, how will this end! How exciting! Finally our swing contest has been cancelled as Sally refuses to get on it! Moral: BUT WILL IT BLEND!

Did you hear about the Dislexic Devil worshipers? They sold their soul to Santa.

A boy owned a dog that was uncommonly shaggy. Many people remarked upon its considerable shagginess. When the boy learned that there are contests for shaggy dogs, he entered his dog. The dog won first prize for shagginess in both the local and the regional competitions. The boy entered the dog in ever-larger contests, until finally he entered it in the world championship for shaggy dogs. But the day before the championship the dog died.

What's worse than being caught in a downpour? Having your kneecaps ripped out of their sockets.

a jewish man with a boner walks into a wall what does he hit first his cheek due to the fact he was looking at an attractive woman

Your momma is so fat she has an increased risk or cardiac arrest due to obesity. I ridicule her based on the theory that her morbid obesity is due to the fact that she has a diet consisting of large amounts of calories and high fat content and/or she is known to be very sedentary and does not partake in physical exercise. However, if this increase in body fat content is due to genetics I retract my previous statement and wish only the best for her, also, you might want to lower your calorie intake and visit your local gym, lest you succumb to morbid obesity, much like your mother.

Guy A: Why is 6 scared of 7? Guy B: Because 7, 8, 9? Guy A: No, numbers don't have feelings Guy C: That's so dumb Guy A: Hey you know what, this is an A and B conversation so... Guy C: So C your way out? Guy D: Yeah, before D and E come and F U up! Guy E: Are you guys high or something? Guy F: Dude, I'm a girl, F stand for female (Author): Oops sorry Girl F: Thanks Guy G: Mind Blown O_O

What's green and has wheels? A frog in a wheelchair

Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Nobody because a pineapple is not a proper home

A brachiosaurus walks into a cafe "Excuse me I'm an herbivore, can I have a full English breakfast, but with veggie sausages instead of normal sausages, and mushrooms instead of bacon?" Shop keeper: "No you can't. Your too big. You've destroyed my kitchen, and my livelihood. I have nothing left. You've accidently reduced my business to rubble by walking through the door"

How many victims of the holocaust does it take to screw in a light bulb? Zero. They're all dead you sick fuck.

Doctor, doctor! I think I've got an ear infection. I best give you some medicine.

What's green and smells like a dirty whore? A dirty whore

What looks like half an Apple? The other half.

aodhan hearty

whats the diffrents beetween a footballer and a hat nothing i lke chesse

What did Kane Larkin get on his birthday? Cancer...

Whats worse than the holocaust? Nothing.

What is both bold and brash? Fox

What do you do if life gives you lemons? Whoa... where did these lemons come from?

Why did the black guy cross the road? Because he was late for a meeting

How did Bill Framex die? He didn't because he isn't real.

whats worth than finding half a dead worm in your apple getting rapped by your step dad

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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