what is the worst thing to find out about for wife she is your arm

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What is green and has wheels? A blue car.

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Why is Tommy dead? Because he died.

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I'm on the seafood diet, a large proportion of my daily food intake consists of fish.

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what is white and sticky a stick from a birch tree

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Q: Whats the difference between a table and a Mexican? A: You tell me.

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Why do gay people go to the beach on memorial? idk im not gay

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chuck norris multiplied by zero equals zero.

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Why was the black man killed? He committed a serious crime and was issued the death penalty.

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Why did the man go bra shopping? Cause he is a single father and his teenage daughter needs a new one.

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knock knock. who's there? no one. no one who? no one who?

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What's worse than dying in a car wreck with your family? You being the only one that dies.

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Have you heard the one about the monkey who jumped off the roof? Neither have I.

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if a fat guy in a red suit comes into your house on christmas. its not santa your about to get raped from chewy(:

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So FDR walks into a bar.

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Why doesn't Hitler drink whiskey? Because it makes him mean.

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Why was the girl running out of the school? Because her principal was trying to rape her.

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Have you seen stevie wonders new house No Niether has he

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? His mother threw a brick at him.

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How do you blindfold an asian? step 1: Fold your blindfold into a triangle step 2: Wrap blindfold around the head of the asian step 3: Tie the blindfold on the back of the asians head step 5: You forgot 4 step 6: Your finished step 4: Tighten the blindfold Now you know how to blindfold an asian ˜´??

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Well... My reputation is still kinda exaggerated apparently. What you experienced is called astral projection, some people claim it is the same as lucid dreaming, I beg to differ, the difference is vast. You basically just admitted that people believe much more in you, than you believe in yourself, without believing hypnosis does not work, people are like "bah its just suggestions", its true, but underestimating the power of suggestions is a pretty bad call.

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What did the ocean say to the shore? Nothing, water and sand are incapable of speech. Unless of course you are Harry Potter in which case you can cast a spell on them and turn them into a cat which still couldn't talk and them from there you could wait for them to evolve which doesn't actually exist so you would have to ask God and then you would wait for a few years than they could say hi.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Neither Has He.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Milkman. Milkman who? I've been coming here for 14 years and you don't even know my name? I helped take your mother to the hospital for crying out loud! I held you in my arms as a baby! And you don't even have the decency to remember MY NAME?! I'm sorry I don't live in a house that allows milk and other groceries to be delivered, I'm sorry that I wasn't born into a nice family with a nice home! I'm sorry that I have had to come here EVERY WEEK FOR FOURTEEN YEARS and you can't even remember my NAME! My name! I left my family for christmas one year to go pick up that elmo doll for you when you were a kid! I saved you from that burning treehouse! I helped you with you're 3rd grade science fair project and you won! YOU WON! We took a picture together that i have kept in my wallet. And i proudly say here's me and timmy. ME AND TIMMY! TIMMY! But no...you don't need to know my name. Well good day sir. You shan't see me again.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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