why is the spine-tailed swift the fastest bird? because its faster than the second fastest bird.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it thought it was a game. Why did the tree fall over? Because it thought it was a squirrel.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A black man walks into a white man on the street. The white man viciously beats the black man.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why didn't the kid eat lunch at school? He wasn't hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

how do you punish helen keller? leave the plunger in the toilet.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did the black do when a man robbed his house? He called 911

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How can you tell if an elephant has been in your fridge? Broken fridge.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A frog goes to a lake. he meets a photographer , the frog ask him ( can you take a picture of me? he says: sure ...say cheese.... then the frog said :....yogurt

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's the diffrence between a hockey puck, and an african child? They're both black, but usualy african children aren't round!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Did you hear about the Dislexic Devil worshipers? They sold their soul to Santa.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A boy owned a dog that was uncommonly shaggy. Many people remarked upon its considerable shagginess. When the boy learned that there are contests for shaggy dogs, he entered his dog. The dog won first prize for shagginess in both the local and the regional competitions. The boy entered the dog in ever-larger contests, until finally he entered it in the world championship for shaggy dogs. But the day before the championship the dog died.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Yo momma soo fat, she got diabetes and died

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q: What's worse than your parents dying in a car crash? A: You were in the backseat and saw your mother plead your father to slit her throat witht he broken glass because her legs were brushed and a windshield wiper was shoved in her kidney. As you stared on in pure horror, your father did as she asked with much contemplation. An ambulance arrives moments later. In the hospital, you tell your dad that you hate him for killing mom. You run away and he dies overnight due to heart failure. Yo suffered paralysis and now and are confined to a wheelchair for the rest of your natural life and are sent away to a born-again foster care home where you are never adopted.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

"Almost as accidental as your spelling I'm afraid." -...

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A plane crashes on the border of the U.S. and Canada, where were the deceased buried? It turns out that there were passengers of several different nationalities on board, all of which were buried in their respective homelands.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

An Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman walked into a bar. The Englishman ordered a lager, the Irishman ordered a Guiness, and the Scotsman ordered tap water.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Hazel and Gus are two teenagers who share an acerbic wit, a disdain for the conventional, and a love that sweeps them on a journey. Their relationship is all the more miraculous given that Hazel's other constant companion is an oxygen tank, Gus jokes about his prosthetic leg, and they met and fell in love at a cancer support group.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

sorry about this, my enter key is stuck down... Really sorry guys. Nearly fixed it. Look I said I was sorry! All fixed :~D

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did the boy with arms or legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

if you have two gay people, would their kid be gay too? oh wait....

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Did you hear the one about Steven Hawking into a bar? I havn't either, but its probably a hoot.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What happened after the lawer jumped off the bridge? His family mourned his loss for years.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

I america you read books. But in Soviet Russa, Books read YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's green and has wheels? A frog in a wheelchair

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops