So you're floating down a river on a two story canoe. How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? Four because snakes don't have legs.

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What's grey and can't swim? A castle.

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What's worst than your favorite football team losing the football? Giving birth to a stillborn child.

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Why does Chuck Norris always know the time? He bought a fancy new watch.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Alan okay come in

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* anti-punchline

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Wheres my tractor?

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Stop Iran! We need the money.

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Yo mumma so poor that she dosent have any money

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roses are red violets are blue I have a knife stand by the door

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Why could the little girl not swim? She had rabies.

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What does a Somalian want for Christmas? Nothing hes Sunni Muslim and does not celebrate Christmas

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Why did John fall off his bike? Because, he is a fish and fish cannot ride bikes.

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A man walks into a bar He orders a beer, drinks the beer, then leaves.

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Whats worse than the holocaust A: not much

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Yo mamma's so fat, she's self-concsious about her weight and is embarassed when people make fun of her weight which makes her escape to her only friend, food, which makes her even fatter, so she will never lose weight until society accepts her and is not so prejudice towards overweight people.

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Q: How do you make a baby cry? A: Throw a brick at it.

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Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King. After being told politely that Big Macs were served at McDonald's and not Burger King, he walked out and drove to the nearest McDonald's.

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Why are asians bad drivers? Driving schools in asia are severely less developed and therefore produce less experienced and skillful drivers. They also have asian eyes (:

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your friend is gay, but you are not. nothing happens

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What do you call 100 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A weird kind of genocide.

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A black man is setting up contingency measures of protection in his personal place of residence when all of a sudden, several warning alarms sound and a few specialized people with red "combating" devices who were alerted by the blatant scenerio unfolding before them were moving quickly in order to match previously stipulated criteria of value. The black man and his family were partaking in a monthly fire drill unfolding in their own house since they were extremely responsible, law-abiding citizens of the city they were located in that required various kinds ofl saftey precautions to be taken so to mitigate the serious chance that people might be hurt by preventable, residential distasters.

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What do you call a Chineses filled with bus?

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If I have 12 backpacks and Jimmy has 91 pancakes, then how many marshmallows can cover the roof of this building? Purple. Because Aliens don't wear hats.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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