- Anti Joke

Q. What do you call a Widow's Husband? A. Dead...

Whats black white and red all over? A decapitated panda.

A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

Where did Susie go during the bombings? Susie was wandering around the streets as she felt like she didn't know where she was any more. Everything was burnt to ashes. She came across a man who she has never met. He tells her to follow him. She did.Later, Susie, the mysterious man and a few other people with him were in a private meeting room. The mysterious man tells Susie that he was a Frenchman and he was with the resistance. A few minutes later, the bombs were dropping everywhere. The meeting room was destroyed and Susie, the Frenchman and his men were under attack. The French resistance were about to fight, but retreated - for they were French. Susie was left, lying there as she saw a bomb in the sky about to land on her. She tried to get up and run, but the bomb was too fast. It got her. So yeah. Susie went everywhere, like you lot said.

Know what's funny? Jokes.

whats hard long and has cum in it cucumber

What is black and white, and red all over? I don't know that's why I was asking.

How many dead babies can you fit in the trunk of a car? Any number if compressed sufficiently. At neutron star density all babies in the world would fit.

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

A Black and a Mexican are in the back of a car, they are carpooling to save money on gas.

What's the best anti-pest control of all time???? The Holocaust.

What would Walt Disney do if he were alive today? Gurgle and choke inside his cryogenic vault as liquid nitrogen flooded into his lungs.

I hate long jokes -_-

Jesus saves, passes to Moses who shoots and scores!!!

This joke might just be dumb enough for YOU to find funny

Q. what do you call mexican stoners A. baked beans

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Sally had no arms. Knock knock. Whose there? Not Sally.

Ask me if I'mm a candy cane. Shutup, there are a lot of these types of jokes. Create your own you poophead.

what are you mike bibby?

Which is the rarest animal in the North pole? The Polaroid.

what happened to the boy who got hit by a truck he went to the hospitel

YO MAMMA SO SKINNY SHE HULA-HOOP THIER A CHEERIO

Man one: Why does the moon look like a face? Man two: I don't know, why? Man one: I don't know either, that's why i asked....

Relax, anyway I hope its just the not not hypnotic suggestion, it would be really disappointing to to know that you are high on weed, even if it is very relaxing, not that I would know, I tried valium once, it kinda increased that sensation you have tenfold. Anyway, what I meant to say was, would you kindly tell me what size your breasts are? Do you shave down there?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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