Why did the cookie go to the hospital? It had cancer.

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So an irishmen, jewish, and asain walk into the bar...and the bartender said get out..

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What is the difference between Barack Obama and Simba from the Lion King? One is a cartoon character from a beloved Disney classic and the other is the current President of the United States of America.

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How do you end a sentence

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Hey, I just met you And this is crazy! But here's my switchblade Get in the trunk.

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Seriously, I am going to tell you, but you know, what would you have preferred that it was if you could choose, I am kinda insecure about these things, and people can read these messages so...

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Knock Knock Who's there A girl scout want to buy some cookies to raise money for my cardiac surgery?

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He was a well respected member of the community.

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What do you call an asian jumping off of a building? A suicide victim.

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Why did the young Mexican apply for a job at McDonalds? The economy is down and his family could use the extra money.

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If you are American when you walk into a bathroom and American when you walk back out, what are you when you are inside the bathroom? You're probably dispelling waste products from your body.

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Q: How do you keep a blond occupied for an hour? A: You write "flip over" on both sides of a blank piece of paper.

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I saw a stray dog the other day So I petted it and got on my way.

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why did kermit cry?Ms.Piggy knocked him out on Christmas and he slept through the party and all of the presents

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? because she's a woman

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What sport do all black people like? This is impossible to answer because not all black people like the same sport.

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I just met you, And this is crazy. So call me Kony, I stole you're baby.

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How come Dorothy couldn't feel her legs? The metal cable snapped.

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roses are red violets are blue i suck at rhymming you have nice boobs

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Roses are red Violets are blue You're parents are dead All your friends are too

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A watermelon, a cherry, a mango, and a peanut are sitting at the table for dinner. They are all eating chicken wings and watching the superbowl between the Packers and the Patriots. What is wrong with the situation? Well two things are wrong, cherry's cannot communicate with peanuts because they speak different languages(obviously). And the patriots fucking suck.

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I know how to make a brilliant telescope out of an empty jar, some leather, a string and a brilliant telescope.

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There is a blonde, a redhead, and a brunnette stuck on a deserted island. the redhead gets sick of being trapped, so she decides to risk the 100 miles back to shore. she begins swimming, gets 10 miles out, gets tired, and drowns. the brunnette gets sick of being trapped, so she decides to risk it too. she gets 50 miles, gets tired, and drowns. The blonde decides to escape as well. she is able to swim 98 miles, gets tired, and swims back.

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It was at the war and there was a camp site where a doctors helped injured soldiers. One soldier comes in the door and holds his arm. The doctor says "You got shot in the arm?" He says yes. Then another soldier walks in the door and holding his shoulder. The doctor says "You got shot in the shoulder?" He says yes. Then another soldier walks in the door and was dragging his left leg across the floor. The doctor says "You got shot in your leg?" The soldier says "No, I stepped on dog shhhttt."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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