What do you call a black person born in America? American.

What is the difference between a dead baby and a mustang? I dont have a mustang in my garage.

A Women is holding a piece of paper with her rights what is she holding a grocery list

knock knock who's there jehovas witness... ...I allow them into my house for a cup of tea and a chat as I respect their religion

What's the best part of the 1980s? They're over.

If a chicken and a half lays an egg and half in a half of a day how long does it take a monkey with a peg leg to kick the seeds out of a dill pickle?

what goes boo a sock

What did the man want for his birthday? Chicken dinner serves 2-3 people

Why doesnt Squidward wear pants? Because he likes to hang loose

Why did Sam have no friends? He was dead.

What do you call John Lennon without glasses? A skeleton, because John Lennon is dead.

How does a chubby baby eat his chili In a very chubby way with his hands smearing it all over is face

A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

A dog walks into a forest and sees a whale. The dog asks "aren't you supposed to be in the ocean?" The whale replies, "yes."

What's greenish blue, smelly, and mushy? The fungus under my sink.

A man walks into a bar with a frown. The bartender asks, "Why are you sad." "My wife got brutally raped then shot last night."

what do you call a bunch of crap at the bottom of the ocean? A shitwreck!

What happened when the president cut the hedge That is a highly improbable solution because he would probably have a body guard do it.

What do you get when a person and a cat try to have a child of some sort? Nothing because there chromosomes don't match, and there for physically impossible.

What's do you call two bulls, a goat, and a horse? Farm A nimals

What's green and eats rocks? A green rock eater What's purple and eats rocks? It hasn't been discovered by science yet...

Why did the blond get fired from her job at the M&M factory? Because she threw out all the M&M's with W's on them.

Why did the chair fall off the cliff? Well it is an inamitate object so it did not move itself, someone must have threw it

A. Ask me if I am a tree B. Are you a tree? A. No idiot

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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