Q. What do you call a person with no arms, legs, torso, or head? A. A mutilated corpse.

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How do you kill a vampire? You can't because vampires aren't real.

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What did the piano say to the ice cube? Dude, get back in the freezer or you are going to melt!

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What's Kanye West's main goal in life? To dash the hopes and dreams of Taylor Swift on national television.

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how do you get a cat out of a tree? shoot it

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Q: A vandal walked into a bar. What did the bartender say? A: Nothing, the vandal had covered him and the bar in pritt stick before he had the opportunity to speak, then left with his penguin accomplice, Reginald the third.

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Q: Why did the Jew have to go to a concentration camp? A: Because he was Jewish

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Why did the young boy fail his math test? Because he had down syndrome.

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What is the answer to this joke? Cuz fuck you that's why.

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So, two men walk into a bar. But the midget walks under it.

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How many chickens does it take to screw in a light bulb none, because chickens do not have opposable thumbs,therefore prevents them from preforming such a remedial task.

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Why do I exist? Because my mom gave birth to me.

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The Piglodocus has been featured in films such as "Jurassic Pork" and "Land before Swine".

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Q-what did lady gaga say to the retard when he asked why he's so stupid? A- Cuz baby u were born this way

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Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? -- Because it was dead Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? -- Because it was stapled to the squirrel

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Help me I need to know how to cook a human fetus by tomorrow does anyone know any good recipes?

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Person A: I think your father might be a thief, I'm not sure though. Person B: How come? person A: I cannot find my virginity. Person B: I apologize my dad taught me well.

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Trust me, you are that kind of girl, and no, you are not nerdy, you are open and down to ground, while your beautiful exterior means a lot to me (I am a man, its the way I am), I would never have wanted to talk to you or even less visit you with a pack (make it five packs) of condoms, if you where the awkward Asperger kind of gal, so how old are you, like seriously?

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A jellyfish walks into a bar, the bar doesnt appreciate him, so he retreats back to his jellyfish lands.

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Making fun of Charlie Sheen is like shooting up in a barrel.

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I just found my mum has Alzheimer's, I hope it isn't contagious cause my mum has it too

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roses are red violets are blue i had sex with your dog

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Your mama is so white she helped pay for your education because she wants you to have the best opportunities in life.

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What's black and white and red all over? A bloody fight between a black and a white man.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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