How many stripes are there on a policeman's socks? None, policemen must wear regulation plain black socks.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

Why did the sailor fall off the boat? Because vampires arent real.

What's the difference between a cow? Trick question—cows eat carrots!

Roses are red Violets are blue Most poems rhyme But this one doesnt

The 80's called. They need their couch back.

Why did a Jewish man have no hair left? He recently got a haircut.

what did the man do when he was at the end of his rope? he bought more rope.

What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? Nothing. His parents are dead and Santa doesn't exist.

Why didn't Johnny ride his bike to school today? Because it is Saturday

What does a sailboad and a walrus have in common? Nothing.

Hey, guess what. What? ... Hello? Sorry, I don't talk to strangers.

How many fish does it take to brush their teeth? Jp's worth of fish isn't enough.

why did the irishman leave the bar he had to go to his sons birthday party

Deja moo: The feeling you've heard this bull before.

Why did the little boy didn't finish his dinner? He died.

Q: What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Easter? A: Diabetes

What's long and black The unemployment line

Q: What do you call a black man that's flying a plane? A: A pilot.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple Getting raped by a hose

How did Jimmy know that his neighbor was a serial killer? He didn't... Jimmy's dead now

i tell you whats funny......... what? a fat sudanese man

whats brown and sticky? whatever is coming from your pants

If I earned a dollar for every time you've said, "I'm too old for this sh*t," I wouldn't have made very much money. You are a giraffe.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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