Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? You would too if your name was Gnrwhaf

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What happened to the orphan? Who cares?

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Why was little Bobby Smith crying on Christmas day? Because the doctor diagnosed him with terminal cancer.

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Why can't Vampires go out in the sunlight? Because they don't exist.

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Your momma's so fat that she should really be concerned for her health and seek professional help to manage her weight.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? For a legitimate reason

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Why is Easter better than christmas? Theres a significantly less chance of getting raped by a man in a Santa Claus costume.

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what do you call a cat that looks like a lion 7

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What's the best way to get high without doing drugs? Jump.

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What did the traffic light say to the car? dont look at me am changing.

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Why did the man cry... He got hit with a fridge

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How many Jews can fit in a Volkswagen beetle? Four, although five is possible if you are not afraid of getting a ticket.

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What did the penguin wearing a blue sweater say to the sink? I am a penguin wearing a blue sweater.

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Knock knock come in.

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Women deserve equal rights.

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Aiming with a revolver? That`s fucking overrated. with a heavy powerful revolver such as this one, you do not necessarily need to aim that well at the heart of your enemy in order to blow his brains out.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? John.

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What's brown and sticky? Poop.

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A black man shoots some hoops. One of the bullets bounces off the rim and hits him in the eye. The man dies. His grandmother is still alive to attend his funeral.

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your mummas so ugley that it looks like it court fire and your family put it out with forkes

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two mexicans are in a car, who's driving one of the mexicans!!!

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Can a match box? No, but a tin can.

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Bill: Knock, Knock. Sean: Who's there? Bill: It's your neighbor, Bill Walters, from across the street. Sean: Oh, hey Bill, how are you and Margie? Bill: Oh, I'm doing fine, but Margie just got out of the hospital for a broken arm. Sean: My gosh, what happened. Bill: She was just loading the Halloween decorations down from the attic while I wasn't home and fell. She's fine though; it was only a minor fracture. Sean: Well thank goodness she alright. Bill: Anyway, I came over to return those hedge clippers I borrowed from you last month. Sean: Oh, thank you. How did they work? Bill: Just great once I gave them a coat of oil. It was a big job... I haven't trimmed those bushes in three years. Sean: Yeah, these clippers have belonged to my grandfather, father, and me. Bill: Darn, thats quite amazing, I wish I could get a pair of those, but I doubt they still make them. Sean: I'm pretty confident they don't, but you can borrow these anytime. Bill: Thanks Sean thats very generous of you. Sean: No problem, I almost never use them myself. Well I better get back to Jeanie...I'm helping her make dinner. Bill: Alright, Well thanks again.

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did you know towels can cause dry skin?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops