Q: what did the grandmother give to her grandson. A: a lightbulb

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Why do alcoholics use brown bags? Because they are ashamed of what they have become and seek to repress their guilt by entering into denial.

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"Lassie, Lassie, come quick! Timmy is in the well!" "I'm a dog," replies Lassie. "You folks have ropes, ladders, and opposable thumbs. What the hell could I possibly do to help?" With that final act of disobedience, Lassie was turned into fertilizer.

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Did you hear the one about the guy who couldn't tell any funny jokes? He went to Anti Joke and posted 1000's.

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Roses are Red grass is greener every time i think of you i touch my weiner

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was stressed & having alot of financial, mental and physical problems so he crossed the road in hope to kill himself. And he did he got ran over by a car, may his soul rest in peace.

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What did the cow say to the chicken? Moo. Moral: Cuckoo!

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Whats worse than finding an worm in your apple? 1942 BERLIN

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Knock, knock Who's there? The electrician And about bloody time too, you'd better come in.

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My wife made me a sandwich

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Why did lisa fall of her bike? Because her dad threw a refrigerator at her. -JCB

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What did the man dying of cancer want for his birthday? To live.

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Haikus usually make sense, but sometimes they don't refrigerator.

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What's worse than having cancer? Two people having cancer

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What did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede!

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''Today is Star Wars day :)'' ''Why's that?'' ''guess'' ''I don't know :/'' ''It's May the 4th!'' ''And?'' ''May the 4th be with you :p''

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A black man walks into a bar and a white man says "we don't allow coloured men in here". the black man sighs and walks out, wondering what he ever did wrong, and makes his way to the liqour store, to buy some beer to drown his sorrows over his mothers death. On the way, a racist white man shoots and kills him. Then, at his funeral, someone makes the joke "Wow, how ironic. The black guy was the victim.."

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What's long hard and full of seman. A submarine.

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How many Obamas does it take to screw an economy? What do you think?

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How did the girl cross the road? -She didn't, she died because she was blind and didn't see the "don't walk" sign.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He did not have sufficient stability in his arm at that moment causing him to loosen his grip and drop his ice cream.

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how did harry styles get in one diretion god

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Why was a black person on the run, being trailed by police officers? They were all late to work; their work places were coincidentally situated near each other.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. He got hit by a semi.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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