Roeses are purple violets are green WTF u just stabbed me.

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Boy: Did it hurt? Girl: (sigh) Did what hurt? Boy: When you broke through the Earth's crust emerging from hell.

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what do you get if you cross a scotsman , who knows nothing about football and a indian? Blackburn rovers, and a good night out

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Why did the pervert cross the road? Because he couldn't get his knob out of the chicken.

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Roses are blurry so is everything else I need glasses

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What happened to the homeless man at midnight? He took a shit on the ground

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what's the difference between a lion and an ostrich? they are both birds, a part from the lion

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Presidents are black Rappers are white Welcome to 2011

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What's funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby dressed as a clown.

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what did little johnny get his grandfather for christmas?nothing his grandfather died on thanksgiving

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Why are Asians so good at math? because of their work ethic and determination to become the best at everything.rice.

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Why did the Smartie get fired from the M&M factory? For throwing out all the W&Ws

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When you try to go to anti-joke.com but get redirected to Horsehead Network...

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why was the man afraid of the tree? Because it ate his mother!!!!!!

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm a schizophrenic And so am I

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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A duck walks into a bar and is immediately shot to prevent the spread of bird flu.

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A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. His family is struggling financially and his children are severely malnourished. If he wasn't an alcoholic, he could afford healthcare for his family and move into a better neighborhood. But he's not, so they will die a long, painful death.

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A. Do you know what they call Bing Crosby in Sweden? B. No. A. Bing Crosby.

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The last head of Satan, is oh but what you blamed upon Your faults, Your sins. The thoughts of Madness written here, yet potent enough to cloud Your thoughts.... Wait not forever children of man, as eternity is at its peak, the false prophet IS AMONGST US! But what side is he on? The last ditch attempt to protect humanity from a raging jealous vengeful God? Say it is not so! Say that darkness is not the only thing standing against you and eternal damnation... ...Yet you killed his only true child, you stole his name, his essence... Even his Identity... ...Even the Angels white are powerless to stop him, Your maker, Your true maker, for what is the grief of the holy, from which you took his only son... ...As you celebrate once and once anew... :...Merry CHRISTmas, to all of those of you all now left behind... Celebrate it well, as before the world reaches 2017, is where it all ends...

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How many babies can you fit in a blender? Depends how hard you push.

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yesterday, a girl asked me why a guy is Bro if he bangs alot of chicks, and chicks are hoes if they do alot of guys. i said to her “well, if one key can open a lot of locks, then it is the master key. if a lock can be opened by alot of keys, then it’s a shittyass lock, isn’t it

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A blonde, brunette, brown walk into a hair salon. They then proceed to each get they're own procedures done then leave not having any contact with each other.

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I like my women like I like my coffee... 2 cream 1 sugar.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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