a black man has a shotgun. having an IQ of 11 he shot his hands off

Tom buys his wife Mary the latest Eco friendly car. The car is said to get well over 100 miles on a tank of gas. A week later, Tom is stunned to learn that while Mary was driving to the supermarket the car ran out of gas. The tank was full and Mary only drove 5 miles. How is this possible? Mary was involved in a horrible car accident. The gas tank immediately emptied and set fire to Mary and her baby.

What's green fury has 4 legs, and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you. A pool-table

Johny got a iphone ipad and a macbook. He bragged to his friend. His friend said, i got an apple.

What's invisible and smells like carrots? An invisible carrot!

What's the color of the sky when an airplane takes off? Blue. What are you, stupid?

Roses are red, violets are blue, i got a boner, from looking at you

Why did the fridge fall off its bike? Because someone threw a little girl at it.

Q: How do you stop a hobo from stealing your money A: You steal the hobo

What happened to the boat that sank? Everyone on it died

Why did Suzie fall of the swing? Because Suzie was a cucumber.

Committing Suicide #YOLO

There was a blonde, a redhead, and a brunette on an island. This island is called England, and this situation tends to happen a lot.

Tim: Ya know what was wondering? Paul: What? Tim: Actually, I'm not wondering about it anymore.

What is Rebecca Blacks favorite resurant? T.G.I Fridays...

How does a Welshman take a shit? Like anyone other human being does.

Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She doesn't have arms. Knock, knock, Who's there? Not Sarah.

why did the chicken cross the road? i have no idea, i dont know what goes on in a chicken's brain. the better question would be why was a chicken loose in a city

Why cant African children read? While there are many contributing factors the largest would probably be the lack of a standardized education system mainly due to the logistical factors involved in reaching so many wide spread communities. Also the current economic climate and general disregard for civilians by the governments in these area would suggest that the states' focus would be on other issues besides the welfare of their citizens, this is probably similar to other countries in similar situations such as middle eastern, eastern european, and latin and south america. Then again, not really being educated on this issue in almost any way, has probably contributed to a broad generalization, and so the premise of this joke is most likely flawed in any case.

How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a lightbulb? It varies. Alzheimer's is a very slow progressing disease, and many people suffering from it are capable of a wide variety of a number of everyday activities.

A baby crawls into a bar. He cannot walk.

Q: where was Johnny during the bombing? A: everywhere

What did Helen Keller name her dog? Well i would imagine one of various names for a domesticated animal and she would choose the name based on her likes towards nature or an element of nature, being the educated individual she i would think she may name it base on a person of importance, such as an author or maybe a writer that inspires her.

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...