Q;How many screams does it take to ruin a good riddle? A: OOOOOONNNNEEEEEEEEEEE! Moral: This potentially awesome riddle may or may not have been aborted by a scream.

Why didn't the girl make the basketball team? She has no arms or legs.

- What do you call a black man who drives a bus? - An african american bus driver.

The optimist sees the glass as half full. The pessimist sees the glass as half empty. The average American sees a half-finished glass of water that is not flavored and is therefore is not worth any reasonable person's time.

What do you call a moving tree? A hurricane killing thousands of people and 3 dogs.

whats the difference between an iron and a priest? An iron is a hand-held device which presses clothes and a priest is a person who is authorized to perform the sacred rituals of a religion.

A black man a white man and an asian man walk into a bar have a few drinks and on thier drive home run over a three year old little girl and here to month old sister and they go to prison for the rest of thier lives (they shouldn't of let the asian drive)

A russian, a mexican, and an american are all sitting in a tavern. The russian ordered vodka, the mexican orders tequila, and the american orders a beer. When the waiter arrives, the russian throws his vodka into the air, shoots it, and says "we got too many of those in our country". The mexican tosses up his tequila and says "we got too many of those in our country". The american throws up his beer, shoots the mexican, and says "we got too many of those in our country". And then drinks his beer.

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roses are red, violates are blue, you left me for David, I am about to kill you *bam* *bam**bam*

Q: How to make a man who suffers from hypochondria want to kill himself? A: You take a shet on his face.

There were two blondes going to California for the summer, they are about two hours into the flight and the pilot gets on the intercom and says we just lost an engine but it is all right we have three more but it will take us an hour longer. A half hour later he gets on the intercom again and says we just lost another engine but its all right we have two more it will take us another half hour though. One of the blondes says "If we lose the two last engines we will be up here all day"

I want to make a lamp shade out of your skin, because you light up my life.

What's worse than breaking your neck on a trampoline? Getting in a car crash on the way to the hospital.

What's worse than watching paint dry or grass grow? Watching paint dry on grass.

What did the cat say when someone pointed out that cats can't talk? Meow.

what do you call a half dead black person crawling across your lawn..............................stop laughing and reload

ew. I wouldn't sleep with you if you were the last man on earth! ...that's what she said!

I am Asian, I've seen the color blue, but God made a mistake, Asians are taller than you.

Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme This one doesn't

Whats The Meaning Of Life? 42. But everyone has their own perception so you have your own answer so why the heck did i write this joke. Oh wait Im writing still. The answer is 42.

What do you do when your archenemy walks up to you? Kill them due to their vulnerability, I mean they walked up to you...

Why did it take the rabbit so long to enter the rabbithole? Because he was hit by a truck and lost a lot of blood.

If a black person gets a tan, what do you get? A burned black sausage.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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