Roses are red, Violets are blue, these two statement are obvious unless you are color blind

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Apple

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What did the doctor say to the other doctor? Hey bill

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why did the chicken cross the road? because it was tired of the people on the side she was on who told lame anti jokes, so she tried to stay away from them.

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Q: What happened when Cupid shot his arrow into the guys heart? A: He died

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What is black and has no education A tire.

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Useful Information: *2+2=5 *4+4=9 *6+6=13 Q: Given this information, how many fingers am I holding up? A: It was a trick question. Batman didn't open the door.

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Yo momma is so fat that she is at a high risk for heart disease and diabetes!

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? -250.

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Why was the plumber sad? Because his whole family died in a plane crash.

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How do you get a slave to stop screaming from the rope he is hanging on? You stop messing around and you hang him already!

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A black man a mexican and a caucasian were walking together. The black man and the mexican walked into a bar. The caucasian ducked. Not because his race makes him smarter in anyway, but because his friends shouted out a warning to him. All three then proceeded to the nearest pub.

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Why did the housewife become a farmer? Because the kitchen was burned down in a horrific accident.

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Q: why is there always a window in front of the kitchen sink A: so when the woman is washing the dishes she can see the grass she is about to cut

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How do you drown a dumb blonde? Hold her underwater.

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What's the difference between a 7 year old boy and a 50 year old man? Hair.

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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A boy goes into a Bakery and asks for a loaf of bread, the baker asks him if he wants a white loaf or a Wholemeal loaf, the boy replies, "it doesn't matter i have my bike outside"

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why did the women give her sister a present because it was her birthday

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What's the difference between a brick and a baby? One is a fundamental item used in building walls and the other is a human

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If I were in a room with you, Hitler, Stalin, and Palin, and I had a gun with 3 bullets in it, I would drop that gun and run as fast as I could from that room. Sorry, I hate you!

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Q: What did the pedestrian say to the bus driver that hit him? A: Nothing, he died.

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How many men does it take to screw in a lightbulb...1 How many women does it take to screw in a lightbulb...2

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Whats green and can kill you when it falls from a tree? a pool table

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops