when two guys walk in somewhere late together you say. hay perv hay ert.

SOCIOPATH SAYS: Bitch, rate all my comments thumbs up, if you do I wont rape you... YOu know unless I feel like, women kinda like it when men are in touch with their feelings... SO yeah... Im gonne touch your feelings ;) Nah, nope, no homo, you a gal? We can meet! Voluntary rape! (No I did not say voluntary sex, rape, you can say the saferword: OMG SO GOOD HARDER HARDER! If I you know... Am about to kill you... Which I will do if we get to that stage anyways... Relax ill recycle you. Moral: NeroMetal Think Recycling! Save our planet! ITS LIKE RAPING AND KILLING A PERSON!

why did the chicken cross the road? to get to your house knock knock Who's there THE CHICKEN

Your momma's so fat that when she goes to the beach, she feels self-conscious in front of all the other beach-goers.

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are driving in a car. They're on their way to the mall, or something.

Yah? Well your a ********

w8's white and speaks russian a russian stronk

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms or legs

What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding two worms in your apple.

Theres 3 guys walking and the see a genie. He says hell grant 3 wishes. The first guy asked for sandals. The genie said"I can do that" and he got sandals. The second guy asked for rock hard abs.The genie said,"sure thing".When he looked down, he saw that he had rock hard abs. The third guy asked for a pair of pants."ok" Said the genie. And then he got a pair of pants.

When does the baby talk When you remove ypur feet from its mouth

Why did the young man have a young woman do cart wheels when he was in his tree house watching her do them on the ground? Who knows?He never shared his feelings.

how much wood could a wood chuck chuck? 3

I am the sun. You are the moon.

What's worse than being a Jew in 2010? Being a Jew in 1942.

Teacher: Be creative and original! Student A: Teacher, why do you want us to change our monikers? I'm fine the way I am. After all, I'm unique... just like everybody else... Teacher: Why don't I have the brilliant children? Student B: Chance/randomness plays a large part in our everyday lives. Take for example the life of Bob- a paragon for human normality. He gets up in the morning each and every single day to be greeted by an arbitrary occurrence. Although it sometimes serves Bob good, it could also aggrandize his human well of detriment. Teacher, do you want me to continue? Teacher: I retract my earlier statement. Some of the children are brilliant, but most are not. Hence I'm going to say that I have a normal class of students. Student B: Teacher, you didn't answer my last question of which I addressed to you specifically.

Oh my god, I'm on fire! Help me, help me, oh God it's everywhere!

Guess what? SHADAP

Do u know what would be a big pain in the ass? A thorn

Your mama is so fat... she really should go on a diet.

How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

Knock, knock Who's there? You're adopted...

what did the beaver so to the rattle snake? snap your bagles

Politics.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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