The awkward moment when you find your wife on the online dating site you are on.

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Why did the man cross the street? Because no cars were coming and he wanted to get to the othher side

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what do you call your mama at the gas station

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Why did the toilet paper roll? Because it isn't rock!

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There is a famous joke, "What's black and white and re(a)d all over? A newspaper!" However, this is not featured on this website. Why? Because this is anti-joke.com, not joke.com - you moron

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse says nothing because it is a horse and doesn't understand English. It gets confused about it's surroundings and gallops out of the bar, upending a few tables along the way.

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A Man, a chicken and a horse walk in to a bar and sit down at the stools near the jukebox. The jukebox is playing Love Me Tender. The Bartender notices the man pull something from his pocket and hand it to the chicken who takes it in her beak and then turns to the horse and passes it to him. "What'll it be?" says the Bartender. "methamphetamines", says the horse ironically.

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what did the bot get for his birthday? .. men!

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What happened when the Trayvon Martin was shot? The media made a huge deal about it and is now making ridicoulus claims that George Zimmerman is racist, and such claims are infringing on his right to a fair trial, and it's all because Trayvon Martin is black.

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Why is this anti-joke here? Because someone submitted it to this website.

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Son: Dad what does it mean to f***? Dad: Jimmy! don't use that kind of language.. use the word chainsaw instead. Son: Ok, well what does it mean to chainsaw? Dad: Well as you know, God created people, he started with Adam and eve and then he- Son: You keep referring to god as a he, are you suggesting that God has a penis? I guess that would explain the big bang theory... right? get it? Dad: ... Go chainsaw yourself, Jimmy.

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Why is the little boy sad? His parents died in a car crash.

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Man walks into Malaysian Airlines "Hey, can I have the next flight to--" "This is our only policy! You pay the fare we pick the where."

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what did the boy with no arms and legs get for chrismas ? cancer

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Yo momma so stupid she threw a rock at the ground And missed.

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What's worse than a dead baby falling out of a tree? Two dead babies stapled together falling out of a tree.

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What do you call it one an Arab and a Jew get married? Love.

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Whats worse than cold feet? getting your feet chopped off.

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what did the blind man get for christmas? Cancer.....

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Which disney princess always stays old? Snow White

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What do you call a shop dedicated to selling rap music, watermelons, grape soda and fried chicken? A poor business model

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? Because someone threw a fridge at him

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Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue I want to get you pregnant.

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Man sees a hot girl. The hot girl sees him. The man asks her out on a date. After five years of dating he asks for her hand in marriage. She says "No way, I'm married you horror!!!" The man cries and moves in with his mom... Two days later he commits suicide.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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